Page 47 of Pretty Little Disaster

“I’ll deal with Amanté, for now, you need to focus on taking care of Lorna. Madalina lost her father while she was pregnant, it was a difficult time. The girl will need a lot of patience and your support. Be there for her, however, she needs you. Family comes first.” His anger seems to have cooled and I nod my head in appreciation.

“I asked her to marry me, earlier today, on the beach.” That memory feels like so long ago, considering all that’s happened since and I don’t know why I choose to bring it up now. Perhaps, subconsciously, I need my brother-in-law to know how much she means to me.

“And what did she say?” Dario looks surprised.

“She said yes.” Despite all the shit we’re in I can’t keep the smile off my face and it makes Dario look even more surprised. “I understand it now, all the things you did to get Madalina. They were underhanded, DeMarco, but I understand them.”

Dario nods his head as he pours us another drink.

“To love, a blessing and a curse.” He hands my glass back to me and clinks his against it. “We all become fools to it, eventually.”

LORNA

FOUR WEEKS LATER

“Ipicked up your favorite.” Nic dangles the brown paper bag in front of my face after he’s arrived home. Snatching it from his hand, I take a look inside.

“Thanks.” I try to smile when I see the double chocolate muffin, then place it to one side and continue to stare at the TV. It’s a sweet gesture but it’s not going to make me feel any better.

I’ve had the same channel on all day, and not paid any attention to the programs, instead I’ve thought about all the things I’ll never get to do with my father. I’ve thought about how he’ll never meet his grandchild, and how he won’t be there on my wedding day. That's if Nic still wants to marry me. I’ve been so low and miserable this past month, I wouldn’t blame the guy for changing his mind.

“Madalina wants us to go over to theirs on Sunday, she’s cooking up a feast.” Nic continues to try and spark some enthusiasm out of me, but his attempts fail. “Apparently, Serena’s bringing a gentleman frie?—”

“Where is he?” The question that's been going round and round in my head for weeks finally comes out.

“I don’t know, Madalina seems to think he’s from Queens but–”

“Not him, my father. You told Cass and the others to call your guy. You had him cleaned up like some kind of spillage in a grocery store aisle. Where didyour guytake him, Nic?” My voice gets progressively louder and I can see that, after weeks of silence and weakness, Nic is surprised by my sudden outburst.

“I’m sorry it had to happen like that, but if the police had come and–”

“I get it, I understand. But...” I shrug. “I have nowhere to go where I can pay my respects or visit my dad.” I wish I could speak to him one last time. Let him know that he was wrong about Nic and that I’m safe, and cared for. I hope that somehow he’s watching and seeing how well Nic’s taken care of me the past few weeks.

“Lorna, that night, I just wanted to get you out of there, I didn’t kno— Istilldon’t know who shot him and I couldn’t risk the chance of you being a target too. I can speak to the guy and ask some questions if that's what you need,” he offers but I shake my head because I have a feeling I wouldn’t like the answers. I don’t know why I even bothered to ask. I’m sure men like Nic’sguydon’t look for peaceful, pretty burial spots. They dispose of bodies like trash.

“It’s fine.” I feel sick just thinking about where he could be and I decide to never let curiosity get the better of me again.

“It’s not fine, Lorna, you haven’t been sleeping, or eating properly. You need to start taking better care of yourself.” Nic goes to stroke my arm but I pull away.

“What's the matter, am I not being a good enough little incubator for you, right now?” I snap. I’ve spent four long weeks suppressing my feelings and now, I’m not just mad at Nic, I’m mad at the world.

“Lorna, don’t be like that,” he sighs, patiently. “You know that's not what I meant. I’m worried about you.”

“Well, I’m fine. Apart from the fact my daddy’s brains got blown out, right in front of me, I’m doing great!” I stand up and barge past him, heading for our room and slamming the door after me. I lie down on my bed, and when I feel our baby rolling around inside me without a care in the world, I suddenly feel overwhelmed by the cruel one I’m bringing it into.

“Lorna.” Nick sounds worried as he knocks on the door, and I close my eyes, trying to find some calm. Nic isn’t to blame for this, he’s been nothing but kind and understanding since it all happened, and I’ve taken all my hurt and anger out on him. We haven’t had sex since Malibu, and yet he’s slept beside me each night and held me while I cried. He’s comforted me through each one of my nightmares and I’m being so ungrateful.

“Come in,” I call out, hating the fact that he’s right. I do need to take better care of myself, our baby relies on it.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel that way.” Nic cautiously steps inside. “I know you're hurting and, believe me, I've been trying to get to the bottom of what happened.” He sits on the bed beside me.

“The baby’s getting stronger.” I look up at him and manage a smile. I don’t want to talk about my dad, anymore. I’m exhausted from the thoughts in my head and I need to focus on something good. “Do you want to feel?” Despite Nic sleeping beside me each night, he’s been respectful and given me space. I miss the way he used to touch me. I get the impression he’s missing it too.

“Of course, I do.” He smiles as I lift up my top and reveal my stomach. Even with my lack of appetite, it’s continued to grow, especially over the last two weeks.

“Here.” I place his hand where all the action seems to be, then lie back and close my eyes.

“Whoa…I just felt something!” he tells me after a few silent minutes. “Shit, Lorna. I felt it again. I felt it move!” I open my eyes and when I see how excited he looks, I can’t help but smile.

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