Page 74 of Outcast

I knew what they saw. A man filled with so much embarrassment, because as much as I should have run when she started to fuck Esteban to spite me, I couldn't.

My brothers must have rubbed off on me.

18

RITA

Ipicked up the mug of steaming hot coffee, and used too much force. Coffee sloshed over the sides and splashed against my fingers.

"Shit!" I yelped and dropped the mug in the sink. It shattered as coffee splattered all over the counter. Snatching the towel hanging off the stove, I wrapped it around my hand as I curled over. "That hurt!"

No one was here to care about my cries of pain, but it felt so much better to get them out.

Turning on the cool water, I dropped the towel and held my fingers under the faucet. The pulsing from the burn wasn't so strong now. But when I turned the water off, my skin was still bright red.

Orgasms were supposed to make everything better. That was the shit I told myself over the last week. I'd had more orgasms in that time than I'd had in the entire last year. At least not self induced.

Instead of helping last night, I calmly walked out on both Matías and Esteban, then drove my happy ass home. Happy was sarcasm. I couldn't even fool myself.

My phone buzzed.

A night of terrible tossing and turning and a morning of everything going wrong should have worn my brain out. It didn't. Thoughts of what was going to happen with the Dirty Dogs and the lives we'd lost much too soon played on repeat.

Another buzz vibrated across the counter.

Sighing, I turned it around to see the screen. Ricco.

He was one of my favorites, but the shit he was pulling lately, I didn't want to speak to him.

I answered anyway. "What?" I snapped.

"Rita,cariño. I'm just calling to check in on you." His voice was so familiar, it provided a weird comfort even though I was pissed with him.

"Really? Because all you've been doing is undermine me and try to bring Matías into the fold. Did you forget he ran awaytwice? And one of those times he fucked me over?"

"A breakup is not fucking you over," he said, exasperated. "My concern is the club. I want the Dirty Dogs to thrive now that the Institution is no longer there to hold us down. The brothers seem like they're willing to honor their truce with us, but Matías is still the leader we should have."

"The leader you want us to have or that you think Javier wanted us to have?" I pinched my phone between my ear and shoulder and used my left hand, the unburned one, to wipe up the counter.

There was a pause. "Do you think you're the best leader for the club?"

My hackles immediately raised and I froze. "Why are you asking me that? It's clear that you already have your own opinions."

Instead of answering my questions, he hit me with another one. This one the worst by far. "Tell me threereasons why you want to lead? I'm not sure you can name one good one."

"A good one?" Instead of letting my ego take a hit like last night, I straightened up, embracing the anger building inside me.

"We know you miss your father. But you can't hold onto him just by taking his place."

Oh...I was going to fuck his shit up the next time I saw him. Placing my phone on the counter, I hit the speaker button. My hands shook and I gripped the countertop just to steady myself.

"How about because we have shit options. And if you say Matías' name, I will hang up on you. Then there's the fact that I'm more level-headed than any of said shit options. And lastly? Because it's my fucking legacy and I, more than any of you, know the toll the club had onPapá."

It was true. He hid his frustration and exhaustion from them. I'd seen it in his house. He'd talked to me about it. Not them. I sat through the majority of meetings and he never showed them a goddamn hint that he was tired from leading the club.

But it was his life's work.

I'd be damned if I let them run it into the ground because their egos were bigger than their cocks.

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