Page 23 of Outcast

But what good would it do to say that? It would give her false hope and make me feel like shit.

"You don't care. You really don't give a shit about me? About us?" She stared at me a second longer before her top lip peeled up and her nose wrinkled. Even her hands balled up into tight fists. It was a quick transition from hurt to fury, yet the process happened so slowly, I clocked every change in her body language.

As much as I hated to admit it, I soaked it all up. Every single fucking detail. Once she was gone, it could be the last time I ever saw her. I had to make this time count for something.

"What do you want me to say?" I breathed through my nose to keep my voice calm. It was almost impossible when I wanted to scoop her up in my arms, drop her on the table, and fuck all her emotions right out of her until only a bundle of sated sweetness was left behind.

"I want to know how you fucking survived being shot and falling over a cliff!" she screeched.

Flinching, I turned away. Just like upstairs, I couldn't hold her gaze.

"How? How did you do it? Did you plan it? Was that what you wanted all these years? An opportunity to leave us all behind? Nevermind how much we did for you? The history between us? We still had your fucking back once you left! You know how hard that is to swallow knowing you left me on purpose. Twice!"

Her eyes were red and the pain rolling off of her was so palpable, all I could do was move away from her. I'd done this, and I didn't want to face the consequences of my actions. Why should I have to when it was better for everyone that I left?

"How?" She followed me. Then her palms crashed into my chest. "How, Matías!" She pushed me again.

I caught her wrists, and finally faced her."I almost died!"

Our chests expanded and contracted at matching, brutal speeds.

Silence descended between us and time seemed to slow. It didn't matter if she knew this.

Softening my voice, I said, "I did almost die. I would have, but a fisherman saved me. He pulled me from the water when I was barely breathing. It took months after that to heal, to fight infection."

Somehow, I’d also had just enough brain cells to cut out the tracker Doc had placed under my skin once upon a time. Otherwise, all of my efforts to escape would have been in vain.

But now Rita was here…

I rubbed the spot on the right side of my chest where the bullet had passed through.

Rita closed her eyes, then sucked in micro-breaths. She didn't like hearing this.

"Why, Matías? Why did you not love me the way I loved you?" Her hands sifted in my hold and when she opened her eyes, they were glassy.

So many fuck-ups in my life were because of Vicente and his drive for power and entertainment.

This one? Hurting a good woman? This was all my own doing.

Maybe I could have handled our break up differently. Not been such a coward. I should have, but there was nothing to do about it now, except to tell her the truth and hope she left it alone.

"Vicente wanted you dead," I said, my voice strained.

Her head jerked back and some of her fire returned. This woman, she flipped between emotions like channels on the TV.

"You can't be serious," she whispered, her nails starting to dig into my chest where they rested.

"Every single decision in my life has been driven by that man. To keep the people I loved safe. I would die before I saw Vicente kill you."

"He's dead now, Matías. He has been for a long time." Disbelief colored her words.

"Then Valentina was a problem for everyone. I wasn't going to make her yours." She had to understand that I would make every choice all over again. For her.

"She's dead too! For a long time, Matías!" Each word was louder than the last. Her curls bounced as her temper soared.

"I know that!" I gripped her wrists, pressing them deeper against me.

"Then why didn't you come back for me?" She screamed, trying to jerk her hands away, but I tightened my hold.

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