Page 19 of Outcast

Right now, with my own heart threatening to stop in fear, I wished I could take it back. Spend a few more hours with him, just in case.

But he was okay. I was being overdramatic.

"Matías was supposed to be one of us. I wanted him for you..."Papá'swords were still slurred. The pain meds or anesthesia or whatever had him out of his mind still.

I could cut him off. Shut the conversation down. Or I could ask questions, get information from him that he'd kept from me.

Yet, I sat there. Frozen. Wanting all the answers, and fighting a building fury rising in my gut.

How fucking dare that asshole steal these moments with myPapá. He loved Matías like a son, and then Matías had fucked off and faked his death.Who did that?

Someone who didn't give a damn about my feelings. Who only cared about his precious brothers.

I turned my head to the side and pressed my lips together. This was the exact line of thinking that led to me cornering Parker in our club. It was useless thinking that would only get me in trouble.

This kind of attitude festered and I was better than that now.

Yet it still fucked with my head.

"We need him, don't we, Rita?"

I snapped my head back up. "What for?"

"Posers. They're going to be an issue. Matías would take care of it."

"We have a whole gang,Papá. A whole fucking gang to squash any problems." My hands started trembling.

Was there trouble coming and no one told me? Esteban wanted to talk a big game about knowing me so well? I'd shove my sharp, high heel up his ass when I walked out of here.

"If he hadn't died..."

"He isn't dead. Remember? He called Amorette."

"He is, or he would have come to see me. We're his family too." There was so much certainty in his words that I wanted to kick Matías over the cliff myself.

I'd grilled Amorette about what happened a dozen times, reliving the pain with her until she got the call from her sister.

"What do you want,Papá?" I released a slow breath. Would I do anything about it?

"I want Matías to take my place. I want him where he's supposed to be. Where I always planned for him to be."

Jerking up, I breathed through my nose as my eyes burned. What fucking shit was this?

Whatever tears I'd shed dried up like the Sahara desert as all the scorn, embarrassment, and anger welled up to take their place. My brain sizzled with all the reasons I shouldn't walk out that door and jump on a plane.

But I wasn't rational. I itched to track Matías down and demand answers. Then force him to come back and make this right withPapá. AllPapáever did was support that motherfucker. He gave Matías a safe space when he wanted to escape his psycho father.

Matías was from a rival group. WhenPapáfound him, he could have and maybe should have taught Matías a lesson and sent him back to Vicente as a strong message.

Yet, Matías just spit onPapá’skindness by faking his death and staying away when he didn’t fucking need to.

The nurse poked her head around the curtain. "Miss. I need you to step out for a few minutes so we can check him over."

Nodding, I stood and exited the curtained-off area. Without waiting for a nurse to accompany me, I walked back to the waiting room.

My hands trembled by my sides and my brain was electric with a rush of thoughts.Papáwas in the hospital. He was weak. This stint in the hospital and his recovery would mean trouble for Dirty Dogs. That was how our world worked.

How long wouldPapábe around if he was starting to have health issues? My chest tightened.

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