I made a sound of frustration in the back of my throat. "I'm sorry, Rita. The best I can say is I fucked up. But you've knocked sense into me. When you left my apartment in Portugal, I had a real look at what my life was like without you in it, and I refuse to live like that. I deserve happiness, even when I convinced myself I didn't. You deserve happiness. I'm here now. I'm not leaving again. There are no more obstacles in my way. Most of all, myself."
Her eyes started to water but she kept them from me.
Nerves wracked my body. Why wouldn't she look at me? I leaned to the side and she still didn't meet my gaze.
Without any of her fire, she shook her head. "No, Matías. You broke something in me that can never be fixed. You picked your family for whatever fucked up reason, over and over again. I lost confidence in myself, I lost trust in my judgment, andI missed the last days with myPapáfor you!" She ended in a heart-breaking scream. "Whatever you want to do,stop. You broke it, and you can't fix it."
"There has to be something I can do, Rita,” I pleaded, a note of desperation entering my voice. Scooting to the edge of my seat, I inched as close to her as I dared. "I'm not leaving you again. I willneverleave you again."
She finally met my gaze, her pupils flaring at the contact. "I don't believe you."
"Then I'll fucking prove it to you," I growled. "What do you want? What will make it right? To show you that you are the most important thing to me in my entire fucking life?"
Rita pushed her tongue up over her front teeth as she glared at me. "There's nothing you can do."
"Then I'll have to prove it to you my way."
She grimaced in anger as she raised her hands, slowly curling them into tight fists. "Why did you even come back?" Her voice boomed through the small room.
"For you!" I yelled back.
"Well don't bother! I've been fucking Esteban." The way she spilled the admission between us, she wanted to make me angry. To push me away.
It did hurt. It stung like a motherfucker, but it was the consequences of my own actions.
"I know," I said through gritted teeth. Forcing myself to relax, I loosened my fingers. "Is that why you can't look at me for more than two seconds?"
Shaking her head side to side in disbelief, Rita stood up from the chair. "You don't even care. You don't even fucking care that I fucked Esteban before I came to Lucia's tonight, do you?"
"Do you want me to be upset?" I asked, working damn hard not to destroy the room in fury.
"I want you to have a fucking reaction!" She leaned over me.
Because she did care. She loved me and she couldn't turn it off. I understood that. There was nothing I could do about my feelings for her except sit in them, let them wrap me up like a warm blanket and hope they didn't suffocate me.
The door swung open as Esteban stepped in. "I don't like what I'm hearing." He shut it behind him. "Say the word, baby, and I'll take him out back and make sure he stays gone for good this time."
Fucking hell. He had a pet name for her? I didn't even call her anything like that.
It reminded me so much of my brothers with Amorette. They weren't afraid to show their affection, but I was fucking terrified.
In my childhood home, affection was a weakness to be exploited against you.
And I made sure there was as little to be discovered about me and Rita as possible.
"Esteban..." Rita's voice took on a devious note. "Come here," she purred, curling a finger.
He raised a brow as he stalked toward her. She sat on the edge of the desk and raised her thighs, spreading them. The movement forced her dress up and exposed her cloth covered pussy.
"Kneel."
He did, as she sucked on a finger, then pulled the gusset of her panties to the side to circle her clit.
I was one tense ball of anger and hate. "You don't have to do this to prove your point."
She glanced at me, never stopping as Esteban curled his large hands around her smooth thighs, leaving kisses on theinside of her leg. He made sure to stay out of the way of the show.
He knew how fucked this was for me, how much I hated it and he followed along.