Page 77 of Fractured

“You know, not be get too spiritual, because I don’t really follow conventional religion. I actually find quite a few problems with it, but I do believe things happen for a reason.”

Unsure of where this was going, I patted my pockets down to see if I brought my phone with me. “Even the deaths of innocent little boys?” I couldn’t keep the snark out of my voice. Then again, I didn’t really try.

“Yes, unfortunately. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. I have to get going, but if you ever need to chat, you can always call. I know I’m not Lauren’s attorney anymore and I’m not a therapist either, but I am a good listener. And right now, honey, you look like you might need one.”

Autumn stood and patted my shoulder. Then with a small smile, she was gone, and I was left watching her as she navigated through the headstones.

Having nothing else to do, I continued to follow her through the cemetery until she ducked behind a tree and didn’t appear again. That corner of the cemetery was hidden from view, and I’d never actually gone over there because…why would I? My father was buried on the other side, and coincidentally, or not—according to Autumn, so was Eli.

Okay, this whole thing was strange, and I was half-worried I’d imagined my conversation with Autumn. Only, this all felt real.

I hurried back to the small parking lot on the side and hoped like hell my car was there.

It was, and Autumn’s old Prius was parked a few spots over. It gave me a profound sense of relief that I recognized her vehicle. Thank God she still drove the same one after all these years.

Releasing a long breath, I opened the driver’s side door. There were my keys, lying right in the seat, and my phone in the passenger’s side. Once I shut the door, I locked myself in the car and tried to remember what happened.

“Why?” I moaned and pulled at my hair. Despair slammed into me out of nowhere as I thought about what this meant.

I could explain away seeing small tricks of the mind. But this? Losing complete blocks of time?

My hands shook as I held them in front of me. I had no idea what I was looking for, but I kept studying them as if some magical explanation would suddenly be written on my palms.

If I were really losing it, shouldn’t I be entirely unaware of what was happening? Look at Lauren. She had no idea she was evil incarnate. If there was any kindness in the universe, I wouldn’t know I had gone crazy either.

But this whole experience felt surreal. Every hallucination, every slip of time was right there, front and center in my mind for me to obsess over.

My phone rang, and I jumped in my seat.

Saint’s name scrolled across the screen, but I couldn’t answer it. He’d want to take care of me, explain it away. He couldn’t do that this time, and I didn’t want to hear his half-hearted attempts. On the off chance he didn’t try to explain it away, I didn’t want to hear the condemnation in his voice.

Would he try to commit me?

Fuck, I couldn’t stand that.

I wanted to trust them. I wanted to be everything they thought I was, but at the end of the day, I couldn’t let them see this side of me. Not only would I lose them, which would push me over the edge for sure, but I couldn’t let them send me to a place like where Lauren was locked up.

The incessant moaning, unintelligible chatter, and zombie-like movements of those around me would pick away at any lingering sanity until nothing of myself was left.

Could I really live in that kind of existence where I questioned every thought and word that passed through my lips?

Shit, I didn’t think I could.

I also couldn’t allow myself to hurt anyone else the way Lauren had.

A strong wind rocked my car, whistling through the window cracks and pulling me back to the present. Autumn came into view as she walked back toward the parking lot, her gaze cast down at the ground. Her hands were empty.

They were empty when she sat next to me.

Was someone else buried here? Why would she come visit a grave of someone she didn’t seem to like? I gripped the steering wheel, trying to use the smooth, vinyl to ground me, but I didn’t feel any better.

Okay, I had to get out of here. I just needed time to think. That was it—I needed time to analyze everything that had happened, because there had to be an explanation.

My phone rang again as I was pulling back onto the road, and this time, it was Atticus trying to Facetime me.

Declining it was the only real option. Before I knew it, I was pulling into Harper’s place, and this time, I remembered exactly how I got here.

I was meticulous in making sure I had my keys and my phone, checking three times before shutting my door and locking it. I passed a stranger on the stairway, but she didn’t pay me any attention at all. That was good.

---