Page 56 of Fractured

“You actually had really great timing.” Placing our wine glasses in front of me, she turned around to make our plates. “Take these out to the balcony, will you? I’ll be out in just a minute with our dinner.”

That was a waste of sitting down. I grabbed the glasses and headed toward the patio. She wasn’t beach side, but her condo was high enough that you could see the river from her small balcony.

Outside, I set our glasses down and took a seat facing the river. A few clouds had rolled in, but it was still a beautiful day. The cool wind was mostly tame, which was unusual for this time of year, being this close to the coast. A few pelicans called out here and there as they flew overhead. “All right, so we can get the bad stuff out of the way, lay it all on me. How was the funeral? Did you feel like you had the right support? I waited for you to call last night, and I was surprised you never did.”

Wow. She didn’t wait at all before getting to the meat of it.

I took a drink of my Moscato and let the chilled, sweet wine slide over my tongue as I worked out how to answer her.

“It was…sad. It’s been a long time since I was around that much grief, and it did get to me. More than I’d like to admit. But overall, I think I’ve been processing this pretty well. I can’t remember if I told you, but I got to see Randolf shortly before he…passed. I think that actually helped a lot.” I took a sip of my drink to shift a little of the spotlight back onto her.

She simply nodded, studying me far more intently than I liked.

“That’s good. Is there anything else you want to talk about?”

Harper had been there for me for so long, I debated whether I should mention Drake. She knew my mother was committed and why, but I tended to redirect any line of questions that got too close.

Tonight, I wouldn’t say I wanted to talk about my mother per se, but it didn’t tweak my anxiety like it normally would have. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, this newfound confidence was a direct result of the men in my life. And it scared me even more for the day that I would most likely lose them.

But tonight, I would take a leap.

“Something has been happening, and I’m not sure how I feel about any of it,” I started. When she remained silent, I continued, “Remember the little boy my mother—” I couldn’t bring myself to say murdered, so maybe I wasn’t as cured as I thought I was. Harper, the amazing friend she was, didn’t need me to say it.

“I remember. Go on.” She was the epitome of patience and understanding.

“I guess I never knew, but he had an older brother. He’s been trying to contact me. Actually, he forced a quick meeting, but he’s trying to get me to agree to sit down and talk with him.” I picked at my nails as I thought about the ambush outside my place. It was hard not to feel some kind of sympathy for him with how wrecked he’d looked, but how could I focus on him right now when I literally felt my sanity teetering on a high wire each time I saw him?

“What? No. I had no idea there was an older brother. How’d you even find out about him?” She grabbed a bite of her pasta, and it made the whole conversation seem less intense. This was just two friends chatting over dinner.

I suddenly found myself unloading my conversations with Autumn, the letter. The only thing I left out was how I’d started to torment myself with newly discovered gaps in my memory. They were gaps…I thought.

Sitting back hard against the chair, she blew some hair off of her forehead. “Wow. There’s so much there. That’s a lot to take in. No matter who it is, that’s a lot. Okay. First, what did you think of him? Did he seem legit? Like a genuinely nice guy?”

Did he? I’d kind of villainized him in my head. “I don’t know, maybe? It’s so hard for me to answer because just looking at him brings on a panic attack and I can’t focus on anything about him, only how I feel. It’s like these raging thoughts twisting like poisonous snakes in my head.”

She was quiet for a minute, then took another sip of her drink. Something was clearly running through her mind, and I just had to wait until she wanted to share it with me. Which wasn’t long. “I wonder…”

“You wonder what?” I asked as I gripped the arms of my chair.

“That’s such a hard spot for you to be in, but there’s been so much pain and confusion around your mother, I wonder if it would provide any closure to meet with him. I could facilitate if you wanted me to. To make sure it was civil, and I could stop it if I saw you were getting too upset. You could think of me as your emotional gauge.”

“I don’t know, Harper… What if it sets me back and brings up things that are better left in the past?” Exposing Harper to Drake seemed like such a bad idea. What if she discovered things that would make her hate me? Or think me crazy? I was already doing a fine job of that on my own, I didn’t need his help in that department.

“You’re right—it could absolutely do that too. This is your call. But if you want to try and see if this could provide closure for you, even if it’s only giving closure to someone else who was a victim of that event. And honey, you’re a victim too,” she said as she reached over to squeeze my hand. “I’ll be here for you.”

“Thanks, Harper,” I said as I picked up my fork.

“Anything else on your mind? We haven’t had one of these sessions in a long time.”

No, we hadn’t. And this one wasn’t even that tough of a session because of the funeral yesterday, but it was everything I needed.

“Nah. Let’s talk about you. What’s been going on in your life?”

“Oh, not too much, except having the most romantic love affair of my life.” Harper sighed as she looked heavenward. “The things Brett can do with his tongue, it ought to be illegal.”

Damnit. I was starting to feel good, and now I had this niggling guilt tickling the edges of my conscience. If I let this go on for two long, I’d be entering bad friend territory.

“So, it’s starting to get serious?” I hedged, hoping she’d say it was just a fling.

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