“What?” I snapped my head back to him.
“If you don’t have any savings…”
“I do. I’m actually pretty frugal.” Shaking my head, I brought myself back to the conversation. “I can’t meet your family right now.”
His head popped back. “Why not? I promise, they have strong opinions sometimes, but they’re good people. And the kids are awesome. Just like their Uncle Saint.” The smug glint in his eyes had me smiling at him.
“I don’t doubt they’re good people, I’m just not ready to meet them yet.” Maybe never. “And if I did, it would lead to a lot of questions about my life I’m not ready to answer right now. Or discuss.” Like my love life, or my family.
“If that’s what you want…” Saint let his words hang there between us like he didn’t understand at all.
“It’s not you, it’s me.” Sighing, I rubbed my forehead. Today was definitely a struggle bus kind of day. “I’ve shared why I avoided close attachments. Having you guys here is a huge step for me, and I just don’t think I’m ready for family meetings, even if it is innocent and business related.” I put every ounce of regret in my words as I could, and his eyes softened.
“I get it. But just know, my mother is a firecracker. Once she catches on that I’m in a serious relationship, she’s going to do everything she can to secure a meeting. Even if it means knocking on your door. I wouldn’t be surprised if my sisters tagged along. As their only brother, they’re very protective of me.”
I smiled sadly. “They sound wonderful. Eventually, that might be fine. Not while we’re so new though. I’d like a few months at least for us to see if this is going to work.”
“So many doubts,” he teased.
“I guess so. Do you blame me?”
“After the life you’ve had, no. And honestly, it makes total sense. I’m more of a slow mover anyway.” We both leaned back in our chairs, and a comfortable silence fell between us.
“I know, and I love that about you.”
We sat there for another hour, and then it was time for me to head over to Harper’s. Saint left, and Kenzo left to run some errands.
How odd that I’d already gotten used to them being there. Maybe it was the sudden loss of someone I loved, but I felt safer when one or more of them were with me. There was this sudden urge to keep them all close to me, and the more I recognized this need in myself, the more I hoped it didn’t eventually drive them away.
Harper was finishing up dinner when I walked in. Soft vintage jazz played in the background, reminding me of Kenzo’s speakeasy. I’d have to go back there soon. Her hips swayed back and forth as she hummed under her breath.
This was what I loved about her. No matter how hard her days were or what happened at work, she never brought it home. More than once, I’d wished I could be a little more like her.
I dropped my keys on the kitchen island, and Harper jumped a foot in the air.
“Holy shit! Announce your presence next time.”
I laughed. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be quiet.”
Dropping her wooden spoon on the towel next to the stove, she came around the counter to give me a tight hug. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there yesterday. How are you?”
Selfishly, I had kind of hoped we would leave all funeral conversations off the table tonight. But this was Harper, who was my closest friend and therapist. Of course she was going to ask about my mental state.
“Good. Better than I thought I’d be this soon after he was laid to rest.” I gave her a squeeze back.
When she released me from the hug, she held me at arm’s length and studied me. Her gaze traveled over every part of my face, probably looking for some kind of sign that I wasn’t being honest with her.
“Hmm. You do look pretty good. Your skin is practically glowing. Have you been spending a lot of time outside?”
Why yes. Skinny dipping on the beach and lots of amazing sex was great for the skin.
I opened my mouth to tell her about Kenzo, but then I thought of Brett. She seemed so happy right now. Could I really do that to her? If she accused me of sabotaging her relationship or worse, it would destroy me. After hesitating, I went a different direction. “I’ve been taking some walks on the beach to clear my head lately.”
“Right…” She drew the word out as if she could see right through me. “We’ll talk about that in more detail later.” Letting go, she grabbed a bottle of Moscato from the fridge and held it up while she grabbed a couple of glasses. “Cherry Moscato from Costco. This was an amazing find by the way.”
I already knew I loved it, since it was what Saint had bought for me.
She poured us a couple glasses as I took a seat at the bar. Cooking had always been one of her hobbies, and Harper put almost as much pride into her food as she did her work. And she’d slap anyone who tried to help her, even with the most mundane tasks.