Page 49 of Fractured

Far in the horizon, dark gray clouds were drifting in. Thea turned to look in the same direction and patted my knee.

“It’s supposed to rain this afternoon. Are you okay to drive home?”

“I’ll be okay,” I croaked out, my throat sore from too much crying. “Thank you.”

Pushing myself to shaky legs, I walked past Thea toward the side street. There was hardly anyone out here now. So fewer people to see me after my short break with sanity.

On the drive home, I thought of all the things I should have asked her. Did everyone witness my outburst? Although I knew they had.

Did everyone think I was crazy, or were some relating the whole thing to a trick of the mind as Thea had?

The storm was about to break as I pulled into the driveway. I’d made it just in time. And right behind me, Atticus pulled in with all three guys riding in his car.

My heart skipped a beat.

The slip I’d had today at the showing weighed on me, but Thea was probably right—it was a trick of the mind and just happened now because I’d lost someone close to me.

Right?

The alternative was that I was following in Lauren’s footsteps, and now that I had time to analyze what happened, I couldn’t accept it. Instead of finding the strength to push the only men I’d ever felt any kind of connection with away, I waited quietly by my car for them to join me.

Atticus was the first to reach me, and he embraced me in such a tight hug, it was like he could see the fractures in my soul and he was trying to hold them together. As soon as he stepped back, he turned me toward Ambrose, who whispered nonsensically in my ear. The words held no meaning, but the deep baritone of his voice put my mind at ease. Saint stepped up next, giving me a gentler, but still soothing hug. And finally, Kenzo stepped up.

With his hands in his pockets, he rocked back on his heels. His backward cap allowed a dirty blond lock to peep through, giving him a boyish appearance. Well, as boyish as he could be with a full, dark brown beard. It had grown out quite a bit since the last time I’d seen him.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Lilith. These guys filled me in.”

I was sorry too. Sorry I had held him at arm’s length. All the distrust I had in myself made for a lonely bedfellow. Looking at these four men, they gave me something that I’d never had before.

Acceptance.

Love.

Happiness.

It was so wrong that I wanted to keep it.

In the darkest part of mind, I knew it was unfair to them to let them love me, if they ever could love me. At some point, I’d break their hearts and damage their belief in humankind. With a mother like Lauren and a father like I had, how could I not?

I came from a long line of mentally ill, and sometimes it seemed like the wait for the day I would finally fall over the edge was crueler than if I were already crazy.

With resolve and weakness, I looked each of them in the eye and made a decision.

They meant everything to me, and I was ashamed to say I wanted to keep them. But I would do the right thing and tell them my story. My history, which would probably be my future, and let them decide if they wanted to stick with me or not.

A black hand clutched my heart, halting my breath at the thought they might abandon me.

“Are you okay?” Saint stepped forward and pressed his palm to my forehead.

The sweetness stunned me and helped shake off the foreboding fog hovering around me.

“Yeah. Let’s go inside. I have some things to share with you four. And if you want to stay after that, you can stay.”

They followed me inside, and I fought the urge to rub my hands down my thighs in apprehension. I’d never shared so much of my past with anyone, not even Harper, and just the thought had sweat dotting my upper lip.

Ambrose was the last in, and he locked the door before following the guys to the furniture. I stood in front of the coffee table, the exact spot where I played for Ambrose, as they found their seats and watched me silently.

It was if they knew whatever I had to say would be hard. Impossible even, and their calm, open expressions gave me a slight amount of courage.

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