Page 74 of Fractured

I glanced back at him. “Yes, Atticus?”

“You know me. I will always listen to what you have to say. I will always be here for you, no matter what. In this life or the next, I will never let you fall.”

My confused heart skipped a beat as I let his sugary sweet words wash over me. If I dared to hope, I’d hope their conviction to stay here with me was enough to cure all my problems. Unfortunately, I didn’t have it in me to be so optimistic, and the biggest problem of all was me.

“What if I’m losing it, Atticus?” I shifted in my seat until my torso faced him, bracing myself on the arm of my chair as I leaned my face closer to his. Like a masochist, I needed to know what his reaction would be to my truth. Because every day, I felt myself slip a little more.

I waited for him to laugh, but he only looked at me with love and acceptance. I was speechless as he gazed into my soul as if he could read the secrets I held in the dark for so long, I didn’t even know them myself.

“I’m crazy too, remember? I have an irrational fear of domesticated pets. Small ones. Cute ones. Soft and cuddly ones. That’s ridiculous, right? There’s nothing at all scary about pets ninety percent of the time, and still, when I encounter a nice little puppy, my mind instantly thinks it’s going to eat me. What if you’re going crazy? Join the club.” He smirked.

Despite my dire attitude, I grinned. Atticus was adorable and cute, and out of all the guys, he was the one who would understand the most. Only, he was making light of the situation.

From his jokes, I could tell he didn’t really think I was going crazy.

But what did crazy look like? I knew the obvious answer from seeing Lauren and her hospital mates at Bright Path.

Then there was me. Every day, I looked in the mirror, waiting for some physical sign, but it was missing. I could onlyfeelmyself losing the traction I’d fought so hard for.

Strangely enough, for the moment, I was calmly debating what to do about it. Not getting anxious or out of control from letting my phobia run my decisions.

And somehow, that made me feel even more out of control.

A finger to my chin pulled my attention back to Atticus. I hadn’t even realized I’d looked away.

“Lilith, there are two types of crazy in the world. The ones who know they’re crazy and the ones who don’t. Only the ones in the latter half are really dangerous, because they do things and justify it by not believing it or believing the wrong thing. You, my dear, are not one of the dangerous ones, because you question yourself every day. Every decision, every action, you constantly look for signs that you’re losing touch with reality. Are you a bit mental?” Humor lit his eyes. “Maybe, but then, so am I. I don’t think you’re crazy in the real sense of the word, and I’m here to be your voice of reason every time you question it.”

The weight bearing down on my conscious lifted, and I sagged back in my chair. “That was exactly what I needed to hear, Atticus.”

Leaning forward, he kissed my lips with so much love, I melted further into the stiff wicker. “I know. I learned a thing or two from Harper.”

I sat upright, knocking my head against his. “Oh shit.”

“What?” He rubbed his forehead.

“I haven’t told Harper that you’re one of my boyfriends. Shit. I—”

“Calm down, okay.” He pressed a heavy hand on my shoulder and the steady touch soothed my brittle mind enough that I took a deep breath.

“I’m calm.”

“You don’t look calm. Why is this so upsetting? You can tell her right now.” He shrugged like I hadn’t committed a horrible friend crime.

“Fuck, I don’t know. I do know. First, I’m dating Kenzo and didn’t tell her. Then I sat on information about Brett and didn’t tell her, now I’m dating one of her patients anddidn’t tell her.” I covered my face with my hands, muffling the last part of my explanation.

He rubbed circles on my back and scooted closer.

“Arguably, you’ve been dating me longer than Kenzo and before you knew about Brett.”

“Now’s not the time for jokes,” I said into my hands.

“No, it isn’t.” He laughed. “But I don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you think it is. We’re adults. Harper isn’t going to care, and you’ve had a lot going on.”

“I know but I’ve felt like a bad friend a lot lately and this isn’t helping.” I finally lifted my face from my hands. Since August, my life had taken so many turns for the worst, I knew Atticus was right, but the mind was a powerful thing.

If anyone knew that, I did.

“How about you invite Harper over for dinner? I can answer the door and surprise her. That sounds fun.”

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