Page 69 of Fractured

I’m holding on as long as I can. - October 1st

“Catch!”Kenzo yelled to Atticus as he tossed the football.

Atticus ran down the beach with his torso twisted so he could see where the ball was heading. Seconds before he caught it, he stopped and turned all the way around, making a smalloofsound as it barreled into his chest.

“Did you play college football or something?” Atticus wheezed. “That’s far too much power for a regular guy.”

Laughing, Kenzo shielded his eyes. “Something like that. Toss it back.”

Shade suddenly engulfed me as Saint fixed the umbrella in the sand. Ambrose was walking back toward us from where he’d taken off down the beach to look for seashells.

It was a beautiful day and pretty warm for October. Not that we ever really had real winters on the coast.

I’d have loved to say that the last week had been amazing, especially after the day trip Saint and I had taken. In some ways, it had been. When the guys weren’t at work or running errands, they were with me. They were constant balls of positivity and understanding, doing their best to spill that energy over into everything in their vicinity.

Meanwhile, there was me.

I tried to be upbeat. But nothing I did made a difference, even when I tried to pretend. I wanted to live my life like a normal person and do things together with them like other couples did, but I couldn’t.

I alternated between small snatches of normalcy, only to dive right back into a depression like state. I had spent an unimaginable number of hours in bed. It sickened me to know I couldn’t get past this, but at the same time, I couldn’t muster up any energy to try.

Except when my men rallied around me and coaxed me out of the bed. I could get up for them, albeit a shell of myself, but still, I got up.

I should have spent that time figuring out my next career move. However, looking for a job? Hell no, there was no capacity for that kind of stress, so I was slowly eating my way through my small savings, hoping something would fall into my lap, even while knowing it wouldn’t.

Then there was today.

For the first time in a while, I woke up in a great mood.

The guys noticed it right away and spirited me to the beach. Kenzo graciously offered to share the private spot with them since we were “one big family.”

I’d laughed, and so had they.

Now here we were.

“Did you find anything good?” I dug my toes into the warm, gritty sand as Ambrose flopped down next to me on the blanket. He pulled a handful of sea shells out of his pocket and arranged them neatly between his long legs.

“There’s always beauty in the broken pieces,” he murmured.

I took a closer look at what he brought back. Every single shell was chipped or destroyed.

Swallowing, I tried to speak, but my mouth was suddenly too parched.

Saint handed me an open bottle of water, and I took a healthy swig. I was slightly offended and scared at the same time. Did he really have such a penchant for broken things?

“I have an appreciation for broken things, just like I have an appreciation for unusual facts and thought-provoking conversations.” He glanced up at me, and today, his eyes were a clear, light gray. His pupils contracted as he held my gaze.

“I said that out loud?” My hand started shaking. The fear, which had been absent in my near catatonic state over the last week sparked inside me as if it had never left.

“Yes, but don’t worry. I don’t see you as a broken thing, Lilith. I see you as someone who is strong and determined, with an odd bit of standoffish charm.” He grinned as if he’d made the best joke.

I didn’t laugh.

Instead, my thoughts raced away with me. People spoke without realizing it all the time. It wasn’t a sign of madness. But what if I coupled it with seeing things?

No, I’d shared those fears, and everyone had said it was normal. That it happened to many people when they were in highly emotional states.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Ambrose crouched on his knees next to my lounge chair and cupped the side of my neck. His clear blue-gray eyes were my anchor as I focused on him. “Whatever it is that has you spacing out, it’s not worth the headspace.”

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