Page 40 of Fractured

Lauren’s breathing increased as her nostrils flared. Her eyebrows were angry slashes over her eyes. This was the Lauren I remembered most from my childhood.

“I’m not talking about that. It’s behind me.” That was Lauren, pretending bad things never happened, even when they changed her life irrevocably.

“But you remember it,” I pushed, twisted to face her fully. My heart was pounding out of my chest, but this was the only way I knew how to get my answers.

“No, I don’t,” she said too quickly. “So we can’t talk about it.”

“You’re lying. I need to know what happened. For me, for once in your life, can you do something for me?”

She scoffed. “For you? All I ever did was for you. I birthed the mother of demons and kept you. That was what I did for you.”

I didn’t even acknowledge that tidbit. I’d heard it too much, and it would get me nowhere to convince her otherwise. “It’s important to me,” I started, but then changed my approach. “I just need to know the answer to one question. How long did you have that little boy?”

Her features completely blanked, and damn me, but I couldn’t tell if she was faking or really losing it. “What little boy?”

“Eli, the neighborhood boy that you killed in cold blood. The whole reason they locked you up and won’t let you out.” I was getting too worked up. My voice was rising, and the other patients were looking our way now. It wouldn’t be long before an orderly appeared and made me leave for upsetting the mood of the patients trying to enjoy their beloved time outside.

Her face twisted into an ugly grimace, but she refused to acknowledge my question.

“How long did you have Eli? Why him? What did he do to you for you to want to kill him?Whatdid you do to him?” The questions tumbled out like rocks on a landslide. I was powerless to stop them. I’d hidden my head in the sand for far too long. At some point, I’d started to think maybe I would be able to lose the fear of going crazy if I could figure out what happened that day. If I could face the facts I’d tried to avoid.

“Why are you doing this to me?” Lauren started pulling on the hair at her temples, her fingers raking the sides of her face.

“Why can’t you just tell me how long you had him?”

“Because I don’t want to. It doesn’t matter anyway,” she wailed.

An orderly came into the courtyard, speed walking right toward us, a look of confusion and determination on her face as she zeroed in on Lauren.

“I need to know what happened,” I whispered.

“You already know. I can’t tell you.”

My blood iced over.

No…

Was that a way for her to end the conversation? Did she believe I kept up with her trial and what the media reported at the time? Because I didn’t.

Or was that her way of telling me I actually was there and I’m crazy for not remembering it?

“Miss, what’s the problem here?” The woman crouched down by Lauren and tugged her hands away from her face.

“I asked her about something in my childhood. She started to get really upset,” I answered robotically. There was no way Lauren would actually tell her what I’d asked about. She looked as if she was starting to slip from reality anyway.

“Well, let’s not do that anymore, hm?” she chastised me, and I had no ability to feel anything from it. Lauren’s words were too busy on repeat inside my skull to allow anything else to come in.

You already know. I can’t tell you.

You already know…

But I didn’t. I couldn’t, because I wasn’t even in the house.

“I need to leave anyway. I was just stopping by to see her in between errands. Next time, I won’t bring up my childhood anymore.” I told a bald-faced lie. She was my only font of information, so I’d be coming back. And I’d be chipping away at Lauren to get the answers I needed.

“See that you don’t. I know your mother isn’t here for any innocent reason, but we still take their health and wellbeing seriously. These incidents, when knowingly provoked, won’t fly with the staff. That understood?” The nurse was like a mother hen crouching over Lauren, who was at least a decade her senior.

“Understood.” I climbed to my feet and walked stiffly back to the door. I pressed the button and waited for someone to let me in. Rhett opened the door, peered around me where the nurse was still holding Lauren, then stepped back to let me in.

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