Page 62 of Busted Dreams

By the time lunch came around, I snarled at anyone who tried to hold my attention and was so antsy, I could barely stand still.

I ducked out of my last class ten minutes early just to avoid any more potential interactions with people. There was still about half a year left in senior year, and I couldn’t screw myself now. Better I removed myself from any would be disasters and waited for Astrid in the library.

Pacing back and forth, I didn’t hear her join me. Not until she touched my sleeve and I jumped out of my skin.

“Whoa. It’s okay.” She held up placating hands, as if I were a wild horse in need of calming.

“No, my bad. I’m just worked up. Here, sit down. I can finally share my news with you and get this behind me.” I turned one of the old leather chairs around and sat down with jerky movements. Anyone else would think I was a recovering addict or puppet on a taut string with the way I was acting.

If I could lose enough of my straight-edged personality, I’d be heading to the tattoo parlor at this very moment to use the pain as an outlet. But that wasn’t me. School came first. I’d get more work done on my tattoo after school.

Maybe. Depending how the next ten minutes went.

“Now you have me worried. I’ve never seen you this stressed.” Astrid pushed the opposite chair a little closer so we didn’t have to talk as loud. At least, that was what I thought she was trying to accomplish.

My knee started bouncing uncontrollably as I pulled the letter out of the front of my backpack. I’d stuck it between the pages of a book I’d been trying and failing to read.

“The reason behind all this stress today is this letter. It’s from the scholarship foundation, and I wanted to open it with you.”

She lifted up to tug her chair closer, excitement radiating from her entire body. “That’s great! This is much sooner than you’d expected, right?”

“Yeah.” Pointing that out, my tiny seed of hope withered. They wouldn’t have picked a winner this early. Right?

“Oh!” She opened her own bag, rustling through it until she pulled out her sketchbook. Not quite ready to see what was inside the letter now that the time was here, I merely watched her. Between some of the back pages was an envelope, not unlike mine. Only hers had been wrinkled and most likely forgotten. “I got this from my dad two days ago, and I’d forgotten about it with everything going on.”

“What’s been going on?” Beck hadn’t mentioned anything out of the ordinary, and the group thread had been quiet.

“Uh, nothing. But we can open them together.” She inched to the edge of the seat.

“You go first,” I blurted out.

“Are you sure?” Her brows pinched together. “The whole reason for all the excitement is your letter.”

“I’m sure.”

“All right. It’s from the art scholarship too. I honestly can’t believe I forgot about it.” She turned it over and slipped her finger in one corner, carefully tearing the envelope open.

Her face captivated me as her gaze moved quickly over the paper. The time it took her to finish the letter seemed like an eternity. Finally, she looked up.

“Nothing crazy. It’s details for the final round, most of which Mr. Music has already told me.” She shrugged. “Now your turn.”

My turn. I gulped.

With just as much care as she used, I opened the letter.

The paper that I pulled out was the expensive kind, thick and almost glossy. Then I read the first line.

Dear Mr. Jonah Perez,

I regret to inform you that we will not be extending the Edmonson scholarship to you. Unfortunately, though your essay was quite brilliant, we cannot in good faith provide funds to a student who has knowingly participated in possible criminal activities.

As chairman of the foundation, I wanted to send a personal note to thank you for your interest in our scholarship opportunity. I personally greatly enjoyed your essay and believe you have a real talent in writing. Please do not let this discourage you. Life is full of ups and downs, and quite frankly, more disappointments than successes. Use this disappointment as motivation to reach for all of your dreams and enhance your craft. I expect great things from you in the future.

Best,

Richard Donelly

CEO and Chairman of Edmonson Foundation

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