Page 79 of Pin-up Girl

I shook my head no. After typing out a quick message, I showed it to her.

Can I join you? It’s easier to wash you from inside the tub than it is outside it.

She laughed, and it was such a sad sound. “If I say no, are you going to get in anyway?”

Again, I shook my head no. But I’d do my best to convince her, and probably get in eventually.

“Whatever. You want to float around in my tears and snot, have at it.” She waved a hand and turned to look out the darkened window that overlooked the courtyard below. It was too dark to see now, but there were acres of gardens down there. I remembered when my mother changed the textured glass to a one-way pane, so anyone outside would only see a reflection of the world.

“Here my sweet boy, look at the gardens how beautiful. They shouldn’t be hidden just because it’s bath time.”I must have been about six years old. She never should have been forced to stay in the life. She was too gentle, easily broken.

Quickly shedding my suit, I tossed everything in the empty hamper and stepped in, making sure my phone was on the lip. The water was so hot, it burned as steam swirled around my legs. The nice thing about these types of tubs were the dual back rests. It gave me the perfect opportunity to get comfortable and then drag her over to sit between my legs.

“Figures you’d have an erection right now,” she murmured as she stretched out her legs and braced herself on my thighs, her nails digging in the tiniest bit.

Now that she was in my arms, I could have a conversation with her. I showed her my phone.That’s just my natural state around you. Don’t worry. I have no intentions of acting on it. I just want to hold you.

She tipped her head back and nuzzled the side of my chest. “What if I want you to act on it? What if I want you right now?”

My pulse jumped into overdrive, and I was sure she felt it where she laid against my chest. Reflexively, my legs tightened around hers like my body wanted to keep her fused to me in any way possible.

I had to shake her shoulder to force her to read my message. Times like this, I wished for a voice. Funny, I never had before Elise.

Is that what you really want? I’d let you use me any way you wanted, and I’d be fucking ecstatic about it. But is that what’s going to make you happy right now?

She sighed, then turned in my arms to hug my shoulders, pulling her legs up on either side of my hips. Straddling me, but staying far enough back that her pussy wasn’t even close to my cock.

“I don’t know what would make me happy, but I would feel good. And wanted. Two things I didn’t feel much of tonight.” Slowly, she moved up my legs until the heat of her pussy rested directly over my cock. No other movements outside of that, just staying close to me.

I wasn’t going to say anything, but I think you need to hear it. Tonight with Emmett, it wasn’t real. It was a set up.

She tossed the phone across the room where it landed on her pile of clothes. I had no idea how much she actually read, but it couldn’t have been much.

“I don’t want to talk about him. The more I think about it, the more I think I’m not meant to have my own life. I’ll probably never be free. I won’t even be able to love who I want to love. Hell, property isn’t meant to be loved either, right?”

Yanking her head back by her hair, she was forced to look at my face. I was furious she’d taken my only real way of communicating with her. Had she done it on purpose? When her gaze locked on mine, I crushed my lips to hers. There was no struggle, she simply wrapped herself around me, rocking on my cock while I punished her mouth with hard bites.

Water sloshed over the sides of the tub as I stood with her in my arms. I carried her to the bed, and she reached for my cock, but I stayed her hand. I didn’t take her out here to fuck her. Her head was all fucked up, and she needed to understand a few things first.

I pushed her into the bed with exaggerated movements, so she’d know I didn’t want her to move. On the nightstand was a brand-new notepad and pen, something that Margo started to make sure was always here so they could communicate with me in the early days. I guessed sometimes, old habits died hard.

Settling back against the headboard, I let her shift until she was leaning into my side, her chin resting on my shoulder.

You’re fucked up in the head,I wrote, and she smacked me on the shoulder before I could write anything else.

Pressing a finger to her lips, I waited for her to calm down, then I continued.

We’re all fucked up. But what’s not okay, never okay, is thinking you aren’t allowed to love or be loved. That’s bullshit. Utter fucking bullshit.

“And my sparkling past doesn’t mean a thing?” Her face twisted into something ugly.

It means everything. You are so strong and beautiful, not because of your past, but in spite of it. That makes you more worthy of being loved than anyone I have ever known. And that you want to love, that shows how courageous you really are. Remember when I said I could love you so well?

The tears that had dried up started to gather in the corners of her eyes, distorting her beautiful blue gaze. She nodded, sliding her arms around me, hugging my torso to her.

I do love you. I will always love you. You can spend all your love on me, and I won’t waste it. But I know Milo and Emmett would cherish it just as much.

She buried her face in my neck. “Why did you have to bring him into it? Let’s forget him tonight. I love you too, Jules. So much, and I’m afraid there’s not going to be a way to save everyone. I’ll have to choose, if I even get a chance. Or we could all die a fiery death for betraying the club.”

---