Page 60 of Pin-up Girl

Emmett shot to his feet. “You were raped?” His voice cracked on the last word. He rushed me, pulling me up from the futon. “You were raped as a kid? Is that why you carved him up like a fucking psychopath?”

“Em,” Milo chided from the futon, but I wasn’t sure what he was exactly warning him not to do. Not to be crude? Not to scare me?

“Emmett,” I said calmly, pressing my hand against his heart, soaking up the intimate touch. “I wasn’t a kid, I was sixteen. And I didn’t know it was rape until much later, when they blackmailed me into working for them. The guy who won the bid was pretty young, maybe twenty-five. My own mother started bringing him into the house under the guise of her attorney for a faux injury lawsuit. He spent time there, and my mother gave him the perfect opportunity to seduce me.” He pulled me into him, and I didn’t even think he realized.

“To me, he was an attractive older man, paying attention to me and making me feel like a woman. I made it easy for him, really. I fell right into his honey trap, and gave up my virginity within two weeks. After, he said there was no future for us, since I was so young, and he disappeared.”

My breathing had escalated, sharing one of my darkest sources of shame. Ilethim take advantage of me. No one had taught me to respect myself, that my virginity was precious. Mom damn sure hadn’t set a good example. He didn’t protest when I wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest. His familiar scent comforted me.

“There are girls,”like Cassidy, “that are taken to a location like Chao’s place and they’re told exactly what’s going to happen, and the repercussions if they fight it. I didn’t have that. I waslucky. Not saying I didn’t feel used and betrayed, but I didn’t feelrapedin the true sense of the word. And I’m thankful for that. Even looking back, it doesn’t really hit me like that, because I let him. I made the decision. I guess I should just be happy that my lucky winner was more interested in the seduction.”

Behind Emmett, there was a crash. I jumped and stood on my tiptoes to see over his shoulder. Jules stood over the end table he’d flipped on the floor, his chest rising and falling as he stared down at it. Milo held his head in his hands, bent over so low, he was nearly between his legs.

“Elise.” Emmett maneuvered me back to the futon. Once I was sitting, he took the spot next to me and picked up one of my hands in both of his. “Even if that asshole didn’t buy your…” He couldn’t say ‘virginity,’ but he continued, “What he did was still rape. You were a minor. That’s statutory rape.”

I got what he was trying to do, but he didn’t get it. “You’re right. Absolutely. But for me, and my state of mind, I can handle it easier because whether it was real or not, it seemed like it was my choice.”

The fucking pity in his eyes incited an unrestrained fury within me. “What, you think I’m a victim now? That I’m some fragile flower because a man took advantage of me? I’m not a victim, I’m asurvivor, and I’m just as determined to get the fuck out of dodge when it comes to these sadistic bastards as you are. And I’m taking my sister with me.

“Why I couldn’t tell you, why I amsofucking afraid, is because Ellie’s at a boarding school run by Infinity, and my visits are always supervised. So is our communication. If I don’t deliver, they’re going to sell off her virginity. Just like they do all the pretty girls, because they, and I quote in the words of your father, Milo, ‘aren’t important enough for anyone to retaliate over.’”

Chapter Sixteen

“Holy shit,” Emmett muttered.

“Yeah, so I’m the definition of between a rock and a hard place.”

Milo got up, pulling a bottle of whiskey out of the cabinet along with four glasses. He poured a double in each one and handed them out to each of us.

“I think we need a drink for this conversation,” he said as he walked back to his spot on the other side of the small room.

“What I want to know is, how you were supposed to get close to us?” Emmett made small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. If I lied to myself, I’d say it was to comfort me, but I didn’t think that was it at all. He was trying to soothe me into a false sense of security to spill all my secrets. But it wasn’t needed.

This was bound to come out sooner or later, might as well be now. “Either Cassidy or I could have gotten close to you. The handler would have just defaulted to the other. They didn’t care which. I saw you guys head out back, and we were informed of the job you had that night, so I thought there was a good chance I’d find you. What I didn’t know is that I’d walk onto the job, literally.”

Emmett and Milo both chuckled bitterly.

“I guess we got lucky it was you.” Emmett tossed back the whiskey.

Was that humor, or sarcasm? My heart thumped a little harder.

Jules signed,Tell me, Elise.He bent forward from his seat and pierced me with his stare.Tell me, do you care for us? Do you love us? Was it all a sham, or was it real?

Emmett was the one to speak for Jules this time, and when he was finished, he turned to me. I had three men so focused on me, asking me to bare my soul, and I wasn’t sure if I could.

If I told them the truth, it felt like giving them some sort of power over me, and I wasn’t sure I could do that. It actually seemed like a great way to fuck myself over.

“Will you answer if I do?”

Milo nodded, resting his elbows on his knees to lean toward me. “Whether you wanted to or not, you deceived us. It’s going to be hard to come back from that, but if we want to in any way, we have to have total honesty now. No lies of omission, no illusive hints, just the truth. Was your relationship with us a lie to get the information you needed?”

That sounded positive, maybe. Taking a deep breath, I went for it and hoped it didn’t blow up in my face. “Everything was real. I have never experienced anything like what I have with each of you.” I met each of their gazes so they’d know I was dead serious. Bright blue eyes, sad jade green, and bewitching hazel, drilled into me. “That’s why it was so hard for me to do anything that would hurt you, even when I knew it could hurt my sister.” I had to consciously focus on my breathing, it was too easy to hold my breath. They didn’t even understand the risk of what I’ve already shared.

Jules was first to respond.For me, it was real. The future seems impossible, but I don’t want to give up, not yet.

Emmett squeezed my hand. “I’m so fucking mad, and I can’t forgive you yet, but it’s real for me.”

“I think we can agree that we don’t want to throw in the towel. The question is, do we want to hash everything out tonight and devise a plan, or get some rest and do it tomorrow?” Milo sipped from his drink, and studied each of us.

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