Page 49 of Chase Lovett Wants Me

I swallow past the lump in my throat and motion between us. “This.” God, my feelings are too big, and the look on his face is ruining me.

“Because that girl hugged me?” He shoves his hand through his hair, like he’s just as anxious as me.

“No. Not because she hugged you. I mean, it’s part of it. I don’t look like any of the girls at these parties, Chase. I’m not cool, it’s not really my scene and it’s definitely yours.” There’s a huge lump clogging my throat.

“First of all, you’re beautiful, Cammie. Second, you’re the coolest fucking person I know.”

I give him a look.

“I’m serious. And just because this hasn’t been your scene doesn’t mean you won’t ever like a party,” Chase implores. “I thought maybe it would be a good way for you to meet my friends, but I realize now maybe it was a bit overwhelming.”

“I’m scared, Chase,” I admit.

“Of what? Talk to me, Cammie. I can’t fix this if I don’t know what I did wrong.”

If I’m not honest we’ll never get anywhere. And how will I feel if I let my fears rule me? What will keeping this to myself solve? Nothing. I motion toward Mac’s house. “All those girls in there are so different from me. Besides being put together and pretty and cool, they don’t have a problem coming up to youand saying hi, or even hugging you. Even when I was standing right there.”

“I don’t need you to be like those girls. I like you just the way you are.”

“That’s not really the point, though. It’s fine when it’s just the two of us. But when we’re with your friends I don’t feel…included. I disappear to you just like I do with all of them. You didn’t introduce me to half the people who said hi to you,” I explain.

“I didn’t remember their names,” he admits.

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because honestly, it really doesn’t.”

He nods slowly, maybe absorbing my words. “I can see why that would be problematic.” He rubs his bottom lip with his thumb. “I’m sorry I brought you here.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry for bringing me to a party, Chase. I can see how they could be fun. I just need you to remember to try to include me.” I shore up my courage to say the last part, because it’s the hardest to verbalize. “I just want to feel as special when we’re out together as I do when we’re alone.”

His breath leaves him on a whoosh, and he steps in and cups my face in his cold palms. “You are special. So special. You’re the only girl I’ve ever felt this way about.” He presses his forehead to mine. “Give me a chance, please? I’m new at this, and clearly not great at the whole boyfriend thing, but I can learn. I want to learn. I want to be a good boyfriend. More than that, I want to be your boyfriend.”

My heart stutters and gallops. “I want you to be my boyfriend, too,” I whisper.

He wraps me in his warm, strong arms and buries his face against my neck. “I’ll do better next time, I promise. And if I’m fucking shit up, please call me out. I don’t want to lose you.” He pulls back and brushes his lips over mine.

“I don’t want to lose you either.”

CHAPTER 19

CHASE

“Hop on, I’ll piggyback you the rest of the way.”

“You don’t have to carry me,” Cammie assures me.

“I want to, though.” And I want to get back so I can make up for being a clueless fucking idiot. Of course, Cammie felt awkward and left out at that party. If I went to aLotRevent I’m sure I’d feel like a total fish out of water. I want her to feel comfortable with my friends. And while I can’t rewind tonight, I can think of a few ways to remind her how good we are together, and that I can learn how to be the best fucking boyfriend in the damn world.

She climbs up onto my back and I hook my arms under her knees. She wraps hers around my shoulders and rests her cheek against my neck. I pick up the pace.

“Are you carrying me because I wasn’t walking fast enough?”

“No. I just want to get back to res.”

Her nose brushes the shell of my ear. “What happens when we get back to res?”

“Whatever you want to happen.” I turn my head and her lips brush my cheek.

I feel her smile. “Does that mean you want dessert?”

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