Page 73 of If You Need Me

I sip my remaining glass of champagne as I rummage around in my purse for my phone. My Badass Babe Brigade group chat is on fire today. The girls have been messaging relentlessly since I sent them a picture of the adorable cabin Dallas and I are staying in. I only showed them the outside.

But in my private chat with Shilpa, I included a photo of the very tiny bed. That chat is full of shifty-eyed GIFs. Again, I wish she was here. She knows how nervous I am about sleeping in a bed beside Dallas, particularly a small one. I leave my Shilpa chat alone, because there’s potential for me to end up in tears if I’m honest with her about how I’m handling things. Instead, I open the Badass Babe Brigade thread.

There are several messages referencing a picture Dallas apparently posted, and everyone is all about the heart eyes andhow hot I look. I quickly pull up his social media. The pinned post is a picture of me between my moms, smiling and laughing. He’s captioned it with a cheesy phrase about how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have me.

I return to the Badass Babe Brigade chat.

Rix

How’s the engagement party? Is the groom already sloppy drunk?

Hammer

That dress is Do you and Dallas match? Is he in his plaid uniform?

Dred

Please tell me someone is awkwardly giving a play-by-play reenactment of something Dallas did last season.

Tally

You and your moms are super cute.

Shilps

You’re a queen and we all wish we were there.

I compose a message in response:

Hemi

I got to congratulate the happy couple on their engagement. It was stupidly awkward, and if there’s a twentieth reunion, I’m not going. This whole thing is a nightmare, and I want it to be over. What was I trying to prove by being here? I wish I was drinking margaritas with you and telling Rix not to eat the refried beans. I need a girls’ night when I get back.

I’m immediately flooded with group hug GIFs and promises that we’ll have a girls’-night sleepover at Hammer’s when I return.

A new message from Shilpa appears in our private chat.

Shilps

Do you need to talk?

Hemi

Later. I’m hiding in the bathroom chugging champagne. I grossly underestimated how awful it would be to see all the people who made me feel two inches tall in high school and apparently still do.

Shilps

Oh babe. I’m so sorry. I wish I was there. They don’t matter—they never did. Remember what a badass you are.

Hemi

I’m trying. And I wish you were here too. I should go. I’ll message later.

Shilps

*Wonder Woman GIF*

I use the bathroom for its intended purpose and not just a hiding place, then steel myself for more unpleasant interactions. Shilpa is right, yet trying to convince my brain of that feels insurmountable.

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