Page 64 of If You Need Me

I nod once.

“Are you uncomfortable?”

“The angle isn’t bad.”

“How long do they usually last?”

“Depends on the situation.” This one will likely last all day. My balls will definitely feel some type of way.

“How many times have you jerked off in a bathroom before a promo op?” I must be imagining the slight breathiness to her voice.

“Just a few times. Mostly I handle the situation at home.” But sometimes even that doesn’t work.

“Is this why you’re chronically late?” she asks.

We’ve never talked about this. Not in all the years she’s been working with the team. I just let her chastise me for my tardiness. “It’s part of the reason.”

“What’s the other part of the reason?”

This is one of those rare cases in which being honest might earn me some grace. “I’ve done a lot of disappointing things when it comes to you. It was one thing to be an idiot when we were kids, and totally another when I’m putting your professional reputation on the line.” Before Wills joined the Terror I wasn’t all that concerned with promo ops. "I wanted to prove that I wasn’t just a dipshit. That’s when the panic attacks started. I’m sure it’s hard to believe, considering all the shit I’ve put you through in the last little while, but disappointing you, or any company or nonprofit you liaise with, isn’t something I want to do.” I grip the steering wheel and slow down as we approach a stoplight.

Willy is silent for so long that I finally glance her way.

God, she’s beautiful. Especially when she’s wearing a sexy pout and one of her eyebrows is arched. She looks a little menacing, like she did when she straddled my face and rode my tongue. I should not be thinking about that right now. I look away so she can’t see the thoughts on my face.

“You’re serious,” she murmurs.

“Yeah. I don’t want to be a pain in your ass.” I just wanted time with her. I’d sign up for something, then get nervous the night before and end up with a stupid anxiety boner which often resulted in me being late and Wills being annoyed. It became a vicious cycle I couldn’t get out of.

“Hard to believe based on recent events,” she mutters.

“Yeah. I know.” I drive us out of the city, into the rolling hills of the countryside. It’s pretty and scenic, the landscape dotted with fruit farms.

“Where are we going?” she asks.

“Currently we’re heading to the Heartly Farm to visit my horse.”

“Oh, so this is a day of self-flagellation, then, is it?”

I grin. “Would that make you happy, Wills?”

She makes a noise but doesn’t give me an actual answer.

“I don’t dislike horses. I’m just not a fan of the birthing process and seeing an animal in pain,” I admit. “And I get that it’s the cycle of life, but it’s still unnerving to witness.”

Willy huffs and pokes my arm. “Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what? Be honest?”

“Say things that make me like you.” She turns up the radio.

I grin. Eventually we reach the Heartly Farm, where I witnessed the birth of Dallas Bright, a baby foal owned by a family with a son battling a serious medical condition.

I drive past the main house, all the way around back to the horse barn. Sariah greets me with a wide smile. “Dallas! It’s great to see you! Todd is excited that you’re here again so soon.” She envelops me in a tight hug.

“How are his treatments going?”

Her smile turns soft. “Good. But he came down with a cold last week, so he can’t ride. He’ll come out a little later to say hi, though.” She turns her attention to Wills. “Hemi, it’s so nice to have you back.”

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