Page 59 of If You Need Me

I give him the stink eye. I don’t know why he still calls me Willy. Other than to annoy me.

I peek in the bag, unable to resist the smell. He’s right, I have a terrible habit of skipping lunch and end up eating carrot sticks and freaking Cherry Blasters—the carrots are for balance and vitamin C—and regret it later when the hanger hits.

Whenever we do a retirement-village event, they insist on feeding us. Secretly I love it when they serve things like meatloaf or chicken pot pie. It reminds me of my grandma Grinst. But waiting until four thirty is a terrible idea. I haven’t had anythingsince breakfast, and it’s already one thirty. I pull out my paper plates and extra cutlery and share the food with Dallas and Hammer, and then Hollis, when he arrives.

Flip arrives a few minutes later and finishes the salad. He never says no to food. I pack up, and the five of us head for our vehicles. Dallas insists on holding my hand and driving with me. I don’t want it to feel nice. I don’t want to like the attention, or being doted on. Adding in the sexual servicing makes it feel…less fake, for some reason.

It’s hard to process how he’s different compared to our childhood. He has always loved pushing my buttons. Admitting that I’m scared of how I’ll feel after this is all over, or even what it means that I’m trusting someone who is party to so many bad memories, feels like a weakness I can’t afford. I don’t want to get comfortable with him, and if he keeps being sweet, that could happen. The lines keep blurring, and when he’s like this, it’s hard to remember this isn’t real. It’s dangerous to like this version of him.

When we arrive, the little old ladies at the retirement home are dressed to the nines. “I love this so much. How cute are they?” I murmur to Dallas, who seems committed to staying by my side.

“So cute. I especially like the one in the red flapper dress.” Dallas’s lips are at my ear. His warm, minty breath breaks across my neck and sends a shiver down my spine. “Picking her as my dance partner. Don’t get too jealous.”

The room is a sea of sequins and loud floral prints. All but a few are wearing their orthotics. A couple of brave souls wear chunky heels. Their makeup is done, lipstick not always inside the lines, and a few women have on enough blue eyeshadow to make the eighties cringe. But they’re adorable, and all the men are dressed in suits.

The afternoon starts with tea and cookies served by the players, followed by an hour of ballroom dancing. Even I get pulled onto the dance floor, and so does Hammer. I’m in the middle of atwo-step with Dougie, a spry ninety-three-year-old with an exceptional amount of ear hair, when I notice Dallas crossing the room. He crouches in front of Hester. She uses a wheelchair and has been watching from the sidelines. Often, she skips these events and says she’s tired.

Whatever he says brings a wide smile to her lined face. He wheels her into the middle of the dance floor and makes a complete spectacle of himself, shaking his ass in front of her. She’s laughing and clapping and smiling so wide my heart feels like it’s about to burst. Sometimes, I forget that under all that sweetness, he’s the same guy who put a frog in my lunch box in fourth grade.

After dancing, we join the residents in the dining room. Dallas and I end up at the table with Hester. She lost her husband of sixty-three years this winter. I can’t even begin to imagine how untethered I would feel if I’d loved someone that long and suddenly they were gone.

“Miss Wilhelmina, this is new!” Irina, another lady at our table, takes my hand in hers and examines the engagement ring. “Who’s the lucky fella?”

Dallas wraps his arm around my shoulder and hugs me to his side. It’s tough not to appreciate how good he smells when he’s all up in my personal space. “That would be me.”

Irina, who’s a spitfire, gives Dallas an appraising once-over. “He’s a real looker, isn’t he?”

"He’s quite pretty,” I agree.

Everywhere he goes, people fawn over him. Even if they don’t know he’s a professional hockey player, they’re immediately taken by his wide, infectious smile and his charming personality. It’s been like that since we were kids. He has a wicked sense of humor, and he can be exceptionally kind—as I’ve recently learned.

But the fact that I’ll have to come back here eventually for another one of these events and share the terrible news that we broke up makes my chest ache. None of this is real. Both timeshe got me off, he didn’t even ask for reciprocation. Our chemistry adds another layer of complication. The lies just keep building, and it makes his casual affection harder to take. What will people think when I allow the prom king to hurt me again? How desperate will I look then? How pathetic? How much will I regret the memory of how good he made me feel?

I’m all up in my head, so I must miss the next question.

“Wills?” Dallas’s eyes hold mild concern. He must see my confusion because he adds, “Would you like me to tell the story?”

“Oh. Sure.” I don’t think I can bring myself to share another fabrication about how we fell in love without losing it.

“Wilhelmina and I have known each other since we were kids.” Dallas’s thumb strokes along the skin at the collar of my blouse, sending another annoying shiver down my spine. “We went to school together all the way from kindergarten to high school.”

Irina claps. “Oh! Childhood friends? That’s one of my favorites!”

I laugh, because my disdain for Dallas and his friends started at a very young age. And it only grew. Now that those feelings have shifted, I like it even less.

“Oh no.” Dallas shakes his head solemnly. “Wilhelmina couldn’t stand me when we were kids. Not that I blame her. I was a jerk. But by the time we reached high school, I knew she was the one. I had a lot of growing up to do, though.”

I grit my teeth, hating how good he is at this. It’s nothing for him to weave a story any woman would love to hear, if it was actually true.

“So how did this happen?” Irina motions between us. The whole table is engrossed in his tale now.

“When Wilhelmina started working for the Terror, I knew it was the only chance I’d get to show her I wasn’t the same jerk she grew up with. I signed up for every promotional opportunity I could to be near her. Over the past couple of years,Wilhelmina has seen a different side of me.” He smiles down at me. “A better side. She knows how to manage me better than anyone. And then, like I’d hoped, she finally stopped hating me. And here we are.”

The girl I used to be, the one who didn’t really fit, wants a love story like this.

“That is just the sweetest.” Irina’s hand is at her heart, and her eyes glisten with unshed tears.

“It really is.” Another woman dabs at her eyes with her napkin.

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