Page 25 of If You Need Me

I mentally run through all the different promo ops I’ve done with Dallas. There are dozens to choose from. Once he had an allergic reaction, so I fold that into our origin story.

“He came to my place because he was stressing over one of his promo ops.” He usually texts compulsively the night before. “He couldn’t sit still, so he started cooking, because it calms him.” This is good. I can filter in some truth. “I used to think he was sucking up when he brings sweets to promo ops, but now I know it’s because he had a bake-off the night before.” I’m rambling, and I need to get a grip. Too many details will make the lie harder to remember. “Anyway, Dallas was in the kitchen.”

“What was he making?” Tally asks.

I scramble for a second. “Homemade cheese and potato pierogies, with fried onions.”

“Those are my favorite,” Dred says.

“I love the sweet cottage cheese ones.” Hammer sighs.

“I like the ones with jalapeños,” Shilpa says.

“I like the cherry ones,” Tally adds.

“We should have a pierogi-making party,” Rix suggests.

“Agreed,” Hammer says and motions to me. “Continue with your story.”

“I didn’t have butter, so Dallas made do with oil. Except it was a bottled coconut oil blend, which he’s allergic to.” I discovered this at a church fundraiser. He had a reaction that required a boatload of Benadryl and a several-hours-long nap in my car. “He must have touched his face because his lip swelled, and then he broke out in hives.” That’s exactly what happened at the church. One second he was pretty Dallas, and the next he looked like something out of a weird horror movie. “He started to panic. He was dancing all over the kitchen, and I have a gas stove.” I draw from another incident that happened in my building, several months back. “He bumped into the cookbook and hisshirt caught on fire. I had to tackle him to the floor and smother him with a blanket.”

“And one thing led to another, and you started making out?” Tally asks.

“Uh, no, that wasn’t how it ended.” Dallas is literally the last person I would willingly make out with, except for maybe Charles.

Shilps clears her throat.

“I can’t believe we haven’t heard this story before,” Dred muses. I can’t tell if I’m imagining her skepticism or not.

“Well, they were trying to keep it a secret,” Shilpa explains helpfully.

A murmur of agreement comes from around the table.

“The fire alarm went off, we had to evacuate the building, and the fire department came.”

“I love firefighters,” Tally says.

“Same,” I agree. “So we’re standing outside, Dallas is wearing a half-burned T-shirt, covered in hives, and the fire department shows up. They do their thing, and of course we have to talk to them because it was my apartment. I was explaining what happened, and Dallas was boring holes in the side of the firefighter’s head. I didn’t know if he was just loopy from the Benadryl, but he went totally caveman.”

“Caveman how?” Hammer’s eyes light up.

I glance at the TV where two people are fencing and blurt, “He challenged the firefighter to a duel.”

“No!” Rix throws her head back and laughs.

Dallas appears out of nowhere, a smile lighting up his stupid pretty face. “What’s so funny?”

“Hemi was just telling us the beginning of your secret love story,” Shilpa explains. Thank God for her fortress of a memory.

“You mean the time we went to karaoke and I serenaded you?” Dallas asks.

Of course he’s going to screw this whole thing up for me. Sweat trickles down my spine. We’re only hours into thischarade and about to blow it all up. And my life. Worse than it already is. “No, that came later. Although your memory of the night in question might be a little foggy thanks to the Benadryl.”

He nods slowly. “Because I had an allergic reaction.”

“And nearly burned my apartment down. Then you challenged the firefighter to a duel when you thought he was flirting with me,” I say as though I’m reminding him, not making this up on the fly.Why is fencing on TV right now?

I’m incredibly surprised when Dallas tucks a hand in his pocket, and gives me a sultry, impish smile. “I didn’t think he was flirting with you, Wilhelmina, Iknowhe was. And I needed him to know that despite the state of my face and how high I was on antihistamines, I was ready to fight to the death in your honor.”

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