Page 62 of If You Need Me

What is this?

Dallas

Gift boxes.

Wills

Why are they here?

Dallas

They’re for you, obviously.

Wills

Why are you buying me things?

Dallas

Because you’re my fiancée, and I’m taking you on a date, and I love shopping.

Wills

I’m not sure if you’ve hit your head recently, but I am your FAKE fiancée, and this is a FAKEdate.

Dallas

You should delete that message. That’s not something you want anybody else to see. If you don’t want them, I can take them back.

The humping dots appear, disappear, then appear again.

Dallas

Seriously. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so if they really bother you, I will take them back.

Wills

You don’t have to do that. But how do you know my size in EVERYTHING?

Dallas

Wills

That only accounts for my panties.

Dallas

I went through your closet when I was at your place for dinner with the family.

Wills

You did not.

Dallas

You’re right. I didn’t. I’m very good at guessing. If this hockey career doesn’t pan out, I figure I can move to carnivals.

Wills

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