Page 40 of Shoot Your Shot

At the mention of the sport alone, my body tenses. I love being a Shark, and one of the hardest parts of this injury is the possibility that I could lose my spot on the team.

But before I can worry about it more, he jerks his chin up. “I see the look in your eye, and I know you’re worried. So, before we dive into all that, let me say this.” He pauses, inhaling. “We’ll wait for you as long as we need to. Okay?”

Even though some of the fear is still there, his words relax me immensely, and I sigh before nodding my head. “All right. Yeah. Let’s … let’s talk about it.”

I can’t run from my future with the Bay Sharks, just like Paige can’t run from this marriage. Both are sure going to take a whole lot of work.

“Hey, Mom,” I say into the phone, smiling tiredly, not wanting to move too much now that Ted is snuggled up to me for the first time.

The past few weeks have been exhausting, and now, adding in the fact that my husband wants me back and I don’t know what the hell to do about that … I’m unwell.

“Hey, babe. I’ve sent you a few texts about this, but I didn’t want to pester you too much. Did you put any thought into coming home for the big fundraiser for Mr. Wells?”

“Oh my God,” I whisper. “I forgot. I’m so sorry.”

Mr. Wells is the glue that holds my old high school together. Now that he has an aggressive brain tumor that requires extensive treatment, the community wants to show their support for him. Starting with a big banquet of some sort.

“It’s all right. Everyone will understand if you can’t make it,” she says sweetly before pausing. “Kolt is so loved and adored by this town. The church has been praying for him.”

I smile because I know all the people back home love and adore Kolt. He only went to our high school for his junior and senior years, but he was so talented. And given that my dad took him and Klay in, I think the entire community sort of brought them in under their wings.

Suddenly, an idea hits me. Now that Kolt is cleared for most activities, he can easily travel. Which means he’s healthy enough to make the drive back home and go to the fundraiser with me. As long as it’s okay with Coach Jacobs since Kolt planned to start sitting in at practices.

“Paige, are you there?” my mom says, and I sit up in bed. Just like that, the moment with me and Ted is over, and the cat leaps from the bed.

“Just thinking,” I say thoughtfully. “Let me talk to Kolt. He’s doing good, and I bet he’d love to see everyone.”

I cringe because I don’t actually know that for sure. He’s Kolt. And one thing he’s always hated about being a professional athlete is all the attention that goes along with it. But for Mr. Wells, I’m sure he’ll suck it up.

“You know he’s always had a love-hate relationship with Mr. Wells, so he should be at the banquet too.”

“Oh my, you know everyone would freak out ifKolt Kolburnewalked through that gym.” She giggles. “If he’s not up for it, I understand. Though I sure hope he is. Mr. Wells would love it.” I can hear the enthusiasm in her voice, and I know she’s going to take this idea and run with it. “How is everything going there? I’m so happy to hear Kolt is doing well.”

I debate not saying anything, and I also consider telling her everything. But I know my mom, and she’s going to get excited if she knows there’s any chance at all that Kolt and I might work it out.

I think she and my dad took our separation almost as hard as I did. He’s always been like a son to them, even before we got married. They never said it, but I knew when I left him and came back home, they were disappointed in me for walking out on my husband. I also bet that when my dad made me go on that coffee date with Dexter, it was just so that I could see how good I’d had it with Kolt because Dexter was so damn awkward. They mighthave been sad about the separation, but they also hadn’t lived my reality the months prior, so they didn’t really get to have an opinion as far as I was concerned. Then again, I know now that I have so much regret and guilt. I often wonder if Kolt would have eventually snapped out of it if I had just hung on a little longer. And now, I’ll never know.

“Kolt wants me back,” I blurt out.

“And … I don’t know. I’m really, really confused, Mom.” My voice cracks from the raw emotion ripping through my body, tearing me apart. “It should be straightforward when it comes to love, but it’s not. There are so many factors.”

For a moment, she’s quiet, and I know she’s thinking about the right thing to say and how to word it in a way that will speak to me.

“That’s true. But none of that matters when it comes to true love,” she tosses back. “Sometimes, you can’t think with your head. And you can’t use logic—though I know that’s always been your favorite way to figure something out. When it comes to things like this, babe, I’m afraid to say you need to let your heart tell you what to do. It knows best.”

“My heart can’t take getting broken again, Mom.” I sniffle, swallowing the lump in my throat, only for it to work its way back up. “My heart is still trying to recover from the last time my husband hurt me.”

“First off, remember, I love you so much. Do you think his heart is hurting because you hurt him too?” She stops. “Also, sweetheart, did you ever think it might be hurting because it wants Kolt?” she asks thoughtfully. “My dear, the heart wants what it wants. You can fight it, but you can’t stop it.”

I become a blubbering mess and wipe my eyes. “I want Rocket,” I cry. “He’s my support animal. Kolt’s cat barely even likes me. She’s standoffish, like him.”

“Give it time, babe,” she answers, but I’m not so sure she’s even talking about the damn cat anymore. “I promise, you’re going to be okay, Paige,” she replies.

She doesn’t tell me it’s okay to just need my cat to snuggle sometimes, and I find that annoying.

“Let me know if you guys can make the banquet, okay? I need to run into the pharmacy to get Dad’s blood pressure medicine. I love you.”

“Love you too,” I utter. “Even though you just made me feel worse.”

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