Page 32 of Shoot Your Shot

“Deal,” I say before I put my hand on her belly, and it’s much firmer to the touch than I thought it would be. I think this is the first pregnant belly I’ve felt though because I’ve never been one to ask to touch someone’s stomach. I feel the slightest nudge against my palm, and my eyes fly to hers. “Did he …”

Her smile grows. “He’s kicking you, Auntie Paige.”

I sniffle, and even though my eyes grow misty because I’m scared I’ll never feel a baby moving around in my belly … I’m also tearing up because I just felt my friend’s baby kicking. And how magical is that?

When the kicks stop, I drop my hand and smile at her. “I am so happy for you and Walker, Pop. And I hope, more than anything, I can earn your forgiveness enough to be a part of this baby’s life.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and she starts to sob. “Goddamn you. Don’t you know I’m hormonal right now?” She sniffles, throwing her arms around me. “I know, deep down, this isn’t easy for you. And for that, I’m so sorry, Paige. I wanted to tell you myself. When I heard Smith talking on the phone with Walker earlier and heard him say that he told you I was pregnant, I was so upset with him.” She squeezes me tighter. “I can’t blame his dumbass because I know he probably doesn’t know about … your struggles. But I’m so sorry that you didn’t hear it from me first.”

Pulling back, I put my hands on her shoulders and force her eyes to look at mine. “You listen to me. I am so happy for you. Don’t ever, ever let my struggles take away from how excited you should be for this baby.” My vision blurs with tears, and I blink a few times, letting them fall down my cheeks in a steady stream. “I love that you thought about me. But I promise, I’m fine.”

She wipes her eyes and sniffles. “I never want to cause you more pain, Paige.” Her lip trembles. “I never want to hurt you with my happiness.”

“And you’re not.” I press my forehead against hers. “You are going to make the very best mom, Poppy James.” I smile through the emotion. “I know it.”

I mean every word. And I really am so incredibly happy for her and Walker because they both deserve the world, but I’m also sad, and my heart somehow feels torn up as thoughts of a baby of my own begin to consume me. It’s selfish to think about myself at a time like this when it’s Poppy’s moment.

What kind of person is jealous of her friend’s pregnancy?

You are, bitch.

Her arms wrap around me again, and she buries her head against my shoulder. “I’ve missed you. I’m mad at you for leaving. But I love you, and I’m so fucking happy you’re back.”

I hold her tightly. And I don’t mention that I’m not here to stay. Not because I’m not going to, but because this moment is about our friendship, about us coming back together. I’m not going to say anything to rip us apart. Besides, this time, when I leave … I’m going to do things differently. I’m not going to ghost everyone.

“I love it, Amy.” Kolt grins down at the card Amelia made for him before hugging her closer against him on the couch. “Looks just like us, doesn’t it?”

When he spins it around for all of us to see, we smile.

“I’m telling you, she’s about to be a famous artist,” Logan chimes, pointing to the two stick figures with their giant circle eyes and lined mouths. “Art right there.”

“For real,” Poppy says in agreement before looking at Walker. “Babe, how talented is she?”

“Reeeeally talented.” Walker nods before giving Amelia a cheesy thumbs-up. “You’ll have to give me art lessons sometime.”

“She did good.” Maci smiles proudly. And even though Amelia isn’t her daughter, it’s obvious she loves her as if she were. “You worked hard on that. I can tell.”

“Clyde drooled on it a little,” Amelia says, pointing to the corner of the paper. “Sorry, Uncle Kolty.”

Kolt frowns before giving her another reassuring smile. “All good, sweetie. That just makes it even better. Who doesn’t love Clyde drool?”

“Uh … me,” Logan mutters. “I don’t even need a mop bucket. He basically does that part for me.”

Maci rolls her eyes but giggles before turning toward me. “So, Paige, Logan told me you’re a physical therapist. That’s amazing!” she says sweetly. “And you have a practice of your own?”

Normally, I’d be beaming, proud of my accomplishment. But Kolt and I haven’t talked about the fact that I have an office an hour away from this house. An office that is currently closed so that I can take care of my estranged husband.

“I do.” I nod, taking a sip from the tea I made for myself before they arrived. “It keeps me busy—that’s for sure.”

“I can only imagine,” she says, eyes wide. “Logan said you live over in Boothbay? I love that area. It’s so beautiful with the fishing boats and shops.”

“It is,” I say, smiling. “Are you from Maine?”

“She’s a Boston girl.” Logan grins, pulling her against him and making her entire face light up.

“He’s right. I grew up in Boston but moved here a few years ago.” She shrugs. “I fell in love with the coast of Maine and couldn’t bring myself to leave.”

“I felt the same way. It just felt like home here.” My eyes float to Kolt’s for a split second, and I feel a pang in my chest when I see the pain in his eyes.

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