Page 112 of Fragile Heart

I breathe carefully through my nose before turning around, trying to keep myself together. Camden’s asleep on the couch, his mouth slightly open and his truck caught under his cheek.

Ethan’s always been about action, not words. Maybe that will be enough between us, like it was Wednesday. Maybe just sitting with him, touching him, will ease the mess that’s happening inside me.

I cross the kitchen and press my forehead into Ethan’s shoulder, leaning into his side until I can smell him over the lingering cinnamon entrenched in the hoodie.

He stiffens. His scent floods the space around us, but it’s stale and sour, carrying his rage and disinterest more succinctly than any word he could utter. I take a step away from him, my heart in my throat.

Just give him time, I coach myself.

His dynamic with Kayla hadn’t been anything like the one I’d had with Brett. Grief is messy and unorganized and every person carries it differently. His resistance to me right now probably has nothing to do with whatever we are.

“I’m going to go to the guest house,” I mutter. I’m nearly positive there’s still something there that smells of him, untainted by his irritation and anger.

His shoulders drop as he sighs, everything about him screaming his relief at my leaving.

Something in me snaps. A piece that had been cracked since he left Melissa’s house the day before I went back to school, a piece that had been frayed and worn by years of mishandlingby Brett. A piece that had been slowly healing under Caleb’s attention this summer.

It tastes like bile on my tongue.

“Should I even come back?” I ask. My voice shakes as much as my hands. I press them into my stomach. I take another step away from Ethan, ready to bolt.

He looks up at me, his eyebrows furrowed, but doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t reach for me. Doesn’t soothe me with his hands or scent or any of the other innate things Alphas have at their disposal when dealing with a skittish Omega.

I back away from him another step, and he grunts.

“Your stuff is here,” he says. “And Caleb will be pissed if you start sleeping at the guest house again.”

Caleb.

Caleb will be pissed. Not him,Caleb.

“Will you?”

His throat ripples, but he doesn’t say anything.

The silence is fuckingdeafening.

Desperation claws at me.

“I don’t need perfect,” I whisper, the dam inside breaking between one breath and the next. “I lived eight years with a person I thought I had perfection with and it meant absolutely nothing to him. I just need honesty. I just need the person I’m with to wantmeand not someone else. I…” I swallow down the growing whine. “I need to not be fighting with a ghost.”

Pain flashes through his eyes.

“Not forever. I can… God, I know how much it fucking sucks to lose someone you love,” I say, the words pouring out. “I lost him before he physically died. I cried over him and lost sleep and couldn’t eat. Igetit. I can give you time. But eventually, I need to not be competing with her. I need to hear you admit that this thing between us is more than just a physical entanglement because of a genetic mutation that’s marked me as yours.”

He doesn’t move. It’s like he’s become a statue.

Something horrid slides through my stomach and up my throat.

God, I want to throw up.

“Just once. I just need to hear it once, Ethan. I’ll put up with whatever dynamic you want, whatever you’re willing to give me. I just need it once.”

He still doesn’t say anything, though a muscle flexes in his jaw from how hard he’s clenching it.

This time, I can’t swallow the horrid whine. It’s full of grief and devastation. I sob in the next second, but I blink away the tears. He flinches.

“I…”

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