Page 53 of Flake It Til You Make It

“That was just you getting carried away by the . . .uh . . .holiday spirit then,” Rocco said, and Taylor could acknowledge that the careful edge in Rocco’s tone was both deserved and also absolutely terrible.

He’d done this. Taken way more than he’d ever intended to, and possibly ruined this good thing between them.

“Uh, sure,” Taylor said. “That sounds reasonable.”

He didn’t want to tell Rocco about Michael. He’d already told him about his mom, yes, but Michael was different. Michael was humiliating, a cautionary tale that anyone with even a brain cell of common sense would have seen coming a mile away. Rocco never would’ve gotten ensnared and then dropped by Michael. He’d have seen right through him. Unlike Taylor, who’d really believed that, with him, things would be different.

Spoiler alert: not only had they not been different, they’d actually been worse. Taylor’s mom hadn’t wanted to leave him—she’d wanted to live, fiercely, not just for her own future, but for Taylor’s.

Michael hadn’t given a shit about Taylororhis future.

He wasn’t ever going to be hurt like that again. Not even if he wassureRocco wouldn’t treat him the same.

“It’s alright,” Rocco said. “I get it. We did get carried away. It was probably inevitable, and honestly, it’s fine.”

But Taylor wasn’t sure it was fine. Maybe he should say something about Michael. Not the whole embarrassing story, but enough of it that Rocco understood.

“I . . .I’m not in a place to have a relationship right now. A . . .uh . . .realrelationship,” he clarified. “At least for now, I have to put my career first. This town first. I didn’t always, and I almost fucked it all up. I can’t do that again. Can’t take that risk.”

He heard what he was really saying and was desperately hoping that Rocco didn’t hear it, too.

I’m afraid.

Rocco’s gaze narrowed. “But you canfakeit for your career, huh?”

Taylor didn’t want to bring up that this whole ridiculous scheme had been Rocco’s idea. Rocco had ensnared both of them in it. Yes, Taylor had agreed, but . . .well. He could have stopped it at any time. He could have touched Rocco less. Could have distanced himself when he felt they were growing too close. Definitely not kissed him just because he wanted to so goddamn bad he didn’t think he could resist one second longer.

“Yeah,” Taylor said quietly. “And that’s kind of shitty, isn’t it? For both of us.”

Rocco sighed and gave Taylor a soft smile. “Yeah. Maybe. It hasn’t been easy for me either. Sometimes I think maybe we should just call it off, but then I see how it’s working. How Marlene came in twice this week. How I have a guy writing a book in my coffee shop, like I’mhelpinghim do that, even a little bit, and that’s amazing. And that Steve guy? A complete asshole. You can’t let him get that job, Taylor. You just can’t.”

“I know,” Taylor said. He also knew if he was around Rocco, he’d want to kiss him again. That much was a guarantee.

And there was a part of him, tiny and buried, a hard kernel of desperation that hoped Rocco felt the same way.

“Maybe we should just . . .I don’t know . . .take a little bit of space. Not see each other for a few days. Get some perspective.” Rocco didn’t quite look him in the eye when he said it, but that was okay. This was hard. Taylor was certainly struggling with it.

Hard enough he’d been sure Rocco would say,no, it’s all over, and Taylor had been so sure he’d agree. But he hadn’t, and Taylor discovered he didn’t have the fortitude to force the issue.

Itwasworking.

It’s more than that,an annoying voice in his head reminded him.You don’t want to give him up.

But he would.

He’d have to, eventually.

Someday, they’d have to shift things back into a friends-only zone. In publicandin private.

“Yeah,” Taylor agreed. “We could do that. We . . .uh . . .pretty much convinced everyone we were dating, so I don’t see why we can’t take a few days off.”

“Yeah,” Rocco said wryly, “we were real convincing.”

Taylor could only laugh then. “I guess we were.”

“Full points for authenticity. Ten out of ten. No notes.” Rocco was smiling again, and he looked him right in the eye when he said it. Taylor let out the breath he’d been holding.

“And neither of us eventhoughtgoat cheese.”

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