Page 28 of The Highseer's Mate

I could say all those things, but I made a deal with him.

“It’s too fast,” I whisper, my voice cracking somewhere deep in my throat.

He huffs and reaches for my cheek. I refuse to look at him. I can’t.

“Our bond is inevitable, Paige. You were born to stand beside me and help me lead my people into the future.”

My heart aches.

“If that’s true,” I whisper, “then we have forever to bond.”

If I’m meant to be here like he says, then there is no rush, right? I can’t sacrifice the safety of the other girls by upsetting him. I can’t betray the deal. And if I reject him, I don’t know how he will react.

But I can’t ignore the rock in my belly telling me something isn’t quite right.

I finally look at him, not really seeing him. “Give me more time.”

His jaw clenches as he looks down at me. The moment stretches and so does my fear. So does my anxiety.

But eventually, he nods.

“Whatever you need, Mate.”

He lays down on his side and pulls me to him, wrapping me in his arms. I wiggle to get free but he huffs and holds me tighter. His warmth seeps through me like an electric blanket and even though I can’t move, I’m not uncomfortable.

I focus on my breathing and the steady rise and fall of his chest, aware that his eyes are still on me.

And that I’ve probably let him down.

And I hate that it cracks my heart open to disappoint him.

Chapter 12

Paige

Ijolt awake to a chill. My mind is foggy and when I sit up, I realize my leathers are still nowhere to be found. I grab a fur and cover myself up before looking around.

I’m surprised my alien isn’t wrapped around me still.

But he’s not here.

My eyes scan the chamber. His leathers are gone, but he’s folded mine at the end of the furs. Tension eases in my muscles as I reach for them, but where is he? The rest of the room looks the same. A few pieces of intricate pottery line the walls. A pelt tapestry hangs directly behind me, a scene depicting a hunt of some sort.

Where is he?

I slide the furs off my shoulders and put my tunic back on. The furs feel empty without him. This room.

I feel sort of empty without him here.

In my dreams, Varek watched me all night—attentive to every move and sound I made. I imagined him eager for me to wake up. Eager to show me more of his life.

But he’s gone.

I pull myself to my feet and shake off the shadowy longing that settled over my heart. It’s more productive if I focus on the girls. I need to find Varek and ask about them. Did Draxel take food and provisions to them? It’s been two full days which means even if they were rationing food, they wouldn’t be able to stay in the ship forever.

Most of all, had he kept his word? Did Varek keep them a secret from his people?

I step out of Varek’s chamber, looking around to see if he’s there waiting for me. The glowhollows are quiet so I decide to head to the spring to freshen up.