Page 63 of The Highseer's Mate

So I wrap myself up in his scent and pretend he’s here, tugging me against his chest and holding me in his strong arms. But it isn’t the same.

Things might never be the same.

Chapter 24

Paige

It’s the day of the trial and I’m completely exhausted.

To keep my mind off of it, I busied myself. Awakening to an empty space where Varek should be, I drifted to the kitchens, seeking distraction in the rhythmic process of preparing food. As I worked, I discover that ruvash, a staple here, bears a striking resemblance to rice, both in texture and the way it’s cooked.

I threw myself in anything I could.

I spent most of my time with my friends, showing them around certain places in the glowhollows and telling them about my time here before we went back for them. Ryan was elusive, but Nicole and Lara loved sitting with me and chatting.

Maybe they could tell that I needed it, I’m not sure.

But it’s good to have friends here.

I even spoke with Draxel, who wrangled me as I was on my way to soak in the spring.

He asked me some rather pointed questions about how I can understand the Vrut language and why the other humans can’t. A question I still have no answers for.

He stalked off angrier than I’ve ever seen him after that conversation.

I visited Varek as many times as I could, but he refused to let me sleep down there. He would kick me out and tell me to get some rest, kissing me until my mind went blank and I foolishly listened to him.

But at night, when there was nothing else to distract from the intense anxiety that churned my stomach, I broke down.

I let myself feel all the pain and anger of being separated from Varek—or not knowing what the future might bring. It hurt just as bad as my chest before Varek and I completed the mate bond.

I sit up in the furs and brush my fingers through my hair. My arms feel tingly and I can’t stop bouncing my legs. At this point, I just want to get the trial over with—the waiting is almost too much to bear.

My eyes are heavy from exhaustion and dry from all the tears I’ve already shed when I finally leave our chamber.

In the main pathways, I see a few other males—some from the group of hunters that went out with Draxel the other day, some harvesters—heading to the Luminary. I’m beginning to recognize faces, even of the Vruts I haven’t met. I follow along behind them, my head hung, but I keep my distance.

How many of them know this is all my fault? If they are heading to the Luminary, they must know what for. They know about the trial and what awaits Varek.

But do they realize that Varek wouldn’t be in this position if it weren’t for me?

My mouth dries out as I round the corner into the Luminary, the council already standing in a line at the opposite end of the chamber. The beauty of the cavern—the ancient and sacred feel of it—isn’t the same. The carvings along the wallevidence the history of the Vruts. Their laws. Their loyalty to one another. The reason why we are here today.

I move to the side of the chamber and find a spot in front so I can see. I wrap my arms around myself, shifting my weight from one foot to the other as members of the clan file in. I avert my gaze from most, but was expecting at least Draxel to stand with me. My gaze darts around the room, making occasional eye contact with Kylor who stands with a blank expression on his face. I can’t read him and I feel like throwing up.

As the room gets louder, so does my beating heart in my ears. I roll my shoulders against the building tension, but it’s no use. I’m a wreck. I want to see Varek. I want this to all be over.

I want to go back and change everything.

Amongst the chaos, Nicole and Lara step inside, scanning the room for me. Suddenly, I can breathe a little better. Things feel a little lighter and I wave. Nicole beams with a smile. The two cross the chamber and join me.

Nicole drags me in for a hug. “Everything is going to work out.”

I want to believe her, but we’re both out of our depths here.

And she won’t even be able to understand what the council decrees.

“Thanks for coming,” I say to both of the women standing next to me. We should have all been together from the start. I see that now.

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