Page 14 of sWitch

Fuck, I was majorly in my head.

I declined going out for ice cream with MJ, Trevor, and the kids after the game. They didn’t seem to mind at all. Dropping me off at the apartment, Trevor took my spot in the passenger seat, and they all went without me. At least Fauna wasn’t with him. Or maybe she was going to meet them there. Honestly, I didn’t want to know.

Coach Monroe won! Coach Monroe is so great!they chanted.

Trevor, Trevor, Trevor,the crowd cheered at his winning goal.

I slumped into my gaming chair, cutting the overhead lights and illuminating the LED strips to a low purple, my preferred gaming setup. I pulled on my headphone and clicked the monitor to life, the keyboard glowing like a command station on a spaceship. My controller plugged in and resting in my lap, I scrolled through my games, trying to find something to immerse my mind into.

Trevor, Trevor, Trevor.The phantom crowd reverberated in my mind.

I loved my brother. But did he have to be so fucking perfect?

“You look and sound just like Trevor,”Fauna had said.“But, like, the night mode version.”

He was the good twin.

The one my parents loved. The one kids adored. The one fans cheered for. The one who got the girl at the end of the coming-of-age movie. You know, the one where the uplifting music plays in the distance, the girl kisses him, and he lifts his trophy while every claps?

I was the bad twin.

The one my parents never acknowledged. The drummer in the band no one noticed. The one paid in pizza, piercing holes in ears and sweeping floors in exchange for more tattoos on skin that was running out of room. I was the loser in the movie, the one you kind of feel sorry for but also kind of hate. The end credits would roll past a black and white photo of me, saying some bullshit like, “Remy would go on to play video games alone in dark rooms for the rest of their days. She would never find love, instead finding companionship in turning her bodyinto Swiss cheese for novice piercers and band practice space.” Something like that.

Greenonline nowicons dotted over V for Valin, indicating my friends were playing. My chest felt hallow at the sight of that game. Fauna loved that colorful little RPG, but I wasn’t Trevor, not even virtually, not tonight. Tonight, I was just plain old Remy. I could have bopped into any number of my other games and been alone, shooting zombies or slinging superhero web, but I guessed I was weak and didn’t feel like being totally alone. So, I clicked into the RPG.

Rollo, Joss, and Lennon were all playing.

Joss’s chat bubble popped up. “REMY! Wanna fuck up some goblins?”

“Sure,” I replied. “Killing shit sounds good right about now.”

Rollo buzzed into my headset. “What’s wrong, sweet-baby-Remy?”

I shrugged, annoyed that my throat got tight. “Got dangerously close to breaking my own rule of never catching feelings,” I answered, joining their group and pulling out my sword. “Won’t make that mistake again.” I stabbed a goblin.

Joss asked over the headset. “Trouble with Mary Jane?”

I scoffed. “No, but fucking hell, I keep forgetting to break up with her.”

Lennon typed into the chat, a bubble of text appearing over their green-haired avatar’s head. “That could be a cool song name.”

Everyone laughed into their mics, and I even cracked a small smile.

“I’m adding it to the set list right meow,” Joss announced.

Lennon axed a red goblin and wrote in the chat bubble, “Sounds purrrrfect.” Len always came alive in game-land. I loved that about video games. We could be anyone, anywhere, and just play and hang out.

I quirked a smile. My bandmates were my best friends. We were a merry band of misfits, but we worked. I loved Rollo’s over-the-top humor, Joss’ way of keeping us in line, and Lennon’s sensible nature.

We killed a crew of goblins and retreated to a village market to sell the spoils of our victory. Lennon peaced out first, then Joss. Rollo stayed a while, and we chatted, but he dipped out at two in the morning. That left me and my blue mohawk avatar, sitting on a tree stump near the fair, watching the virtual shooting stars twinkle past. Alright, this game was kind of pretty and kind of calming.

I’d almost forgotten abouther. Who was I kidding; I hadn’t forgotten at all.

Suddenly, something pink flew past me and landed with a small thud that set off the vibration in my controller. The long, curvaceous, pink-haired witch sauntered over and sat down next to me.

My heart was beating out of my chest when Fauna’s voice wove through my earphones. “Hi, Remy. Want to have cyber-sex?”

LEVEL 5

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