Page 88 of Abducting Sarah

“You are not angry with me for wanting revenge against Justice Bateen for beheading you and imprisoning Silence?”

He sighed. “I do not like the pursuit of revenge—not because I don’t understand it. I do. But I do not like it, because I want myfamily to be safe despite everything I’ve put everyone through. I wantyouto be safe.” Then, he stared out at the forest. “But safety is an illusion. Something we tell ourselves so we can sleep at night. Something we hope our children will have, even though no Ladrian in history has ever been safe from everything. That is not the nature of living. The nature of living is to live life. To experience every facet before we die. If I asked you to stop your quest for revenge, it would be like asking you to stop living. You deserve to experience this life asyouwant to experience it. On your terms. I respect you too much to ask for anything less.”

Relief poured through me, that I at least had his blessing to move forward with my plan, even if it was without Sarah. “Thank you, Father.” I thought about what had precipitated this need for revenge, and Justice’s fierce reaction to it all. “Father, why did you carry on your affair with Silence?”

He frowned. “I love her. I told you this.”

“I know, but…” I ran my hand over my hair, stalling for time. I wasn’t sure how to ask him what I needed to know. “You knew what you were risking by moving forward with her. Not just our family, but Justice’s wrath for both yourself, and Silence, his own daughter. He murdered you and condemned her to prison until Jac rescued her. I know you love her, and you are in love with her, and you love your children by her—that’s not why I’m asking.”

I hesitated, trying to gather the rest of my thoughts to put them into the right words. “I am asking, because I do not understand love the way that I believed I did before knowing Sarah.” Because what I’d felt for Silence before discovering her affair with my father paled in comparison to the overwhelming emotions I now had for Sarah.

Father’s eyes filled with surprise. “Are you in love with her?”

I laughed nervously. “Would it be wrong to be in love with her, so soon after meeting her?”

“No. Not at all. Sometimes, your ghost simply knows. Being in love is not always an obvious or easy thing.”

“Were you in love with Mother?” I asked.

“I still am, Son.”

His answer shocked me, all things considered. “How do you know?”

“Love is both an instinct and a measure of contrasts.”

I frowned at him and scuffed my boot on the stone pathway beneath the bench I was sitting on. “I don’t understand.”

“It is the difference between how you feel when they are near versus how you feel when they are far. It is in the way your body feels when you think of them. The knot that forms in your gut when you think of something bad happening to them. The surety you feel in your bones, knowing what you would do to anyone who would do them harm. And the elation that takes you over, when you see something go well for them. Their joy is your greatest achievement, their sorrow, your greatest wound. It is an unstoppable force that overrides all sense of right and wrong, because itiswhat is right, no matter what is wrong.”

His reply was long and winded, but I knew exactly what he meant. He had perfectly described my feelings for both Sarah and Jac. But it also sounded like madness, and I was too upset to let his description of love hang in the air unchecked. “Is that how you justified stealing my future from me?”

Father sighed, and had the grace to at least look contrite. “Yes.”

“Youdoknow how irresponsible that was—”

He laughed. “I lost my head for it, Son, and Silence was banished to prison. I am aware my actions were insane, but I couldn’t help it. But Iamcrazy about Silence, even in the afterlife. She and the twins are my everything.”

“I am glad you have each other, Father.” I glanced toward the house and frowned. “I worry for her being here with the twins, though.”

“As do I,” he agreed. “Justice, as we all know, is capable of anything.”

I nodded. “I intend to get my crew off-world as soon as I can. If you would like, I can take Silence and the twins with us to keep them safe.”

A sly glint entered my father’s eyes. “I was thinking of something more…permanent and binding.”

His comment confused me. “You cannot unite with Silence. Unions are not permitted for ghosts,” I reminded him.

“Not a union withme.” He sighed and looked me directly in my eyes. “But someone I trust. I know this is selfish of me to ask after all I’ve done, but I needyouto protect Silence, and the twins.”

“Of course, Father,” I promised him. “Anything you need.”

“Good.” He gave a satisfied nod. “With Sarah now gone, and you are again single, I wantyouto unite with Silence. It is the only way to assure that she and the twins are well protected and guarded.”

CHAPTER 24

Sarah

Lakeworth Forest was bathed in moonlight that made the enormous oak trees the perfect place to hideSovereign. Jac had tucked the ship between a thick thatch of them before he opened the cargo bay for me. The warm Earth filled my lungs with the scent of rotted leaves in the autumn breeze. South Carolina, in all her glory.

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