Page 69 of From Maybe to Baby

I look at their eager faces, at Jonas in his actual grown-up clothes, which should be illegal, and at my own attempt at resort formal. We almost look like a real family heading to a nice dinner.

Which freaks me the hell out.

The hostess eyes us with poorly concealed concern. "Your table is... ready."

Translation… your table is as far from other diners as we could manage while still technically being in the restaurant.

Strange for a family-friendly resort. This will certainly go in my write-up.

"Thank you," Jonas says smoothly, like he doesn't notice her watching Jace's tiara like it might become a projectile. "Though maybe not the white tablecloth?"

Too late. We're already being led through the dining room, past couples enjoying romantic dinners who definitely didn't sign up for the dinner theater we're about to provide.

"Remember," Jonas whispers to the kids, "inside voices and?—"

"LOOK." Lukas points dramatically. "They have FANCY WATER."

Every head in the restaurant turns. So much for inside voices.

"Very fancy," Jonas agrees, helping them into their seats. "And look, they even have?—"

"PRETTY DRINKS.” Jace reaches for the elaborate mocktail the server just set down. "With UMBRELLAS."

I watch in slow motion as her tiny hand knocks the glass. As rainbow-colored liquid arcs through the air. As it lands... on the back of the woman at the next table.

"Oh my?—"

"I'm so sorry?—"

"It's designer?—"

Madness erupts. The woman stands, twisting to wipe fruit juice off her back, which she can’t quite reach. Her date looks horrified. The server appears with napkins. Jace's lower lip trembles.

"I was just being fancy," she whispers.

"We know, princess." Jonas somehow maintains calm while simultaneously comforting Jace and helping clean up. "Accidents happen."

I'm about to suggest the hamburger joint when Lukas pipes up.

"Dad?" His voice carries that special urgency I suspect all parents recognize. "I need to go potty."

"Now?"

"RIGHT now."

"Can you hold?—"

"EMERGENCY POTTY."

The neighboring tables are definitely not appreciating our family dinner theater.

"I'll take him," I offer. "You handle the... punch situation."

Jonas's grateful smile does dangerous things to me.

"Remember," Lukas announces as we speed-walk to the bathroom, "in emergencies we don't walk, we POWER PLAY."

I'm pretty sure he just made that up, but I pick up the pace anyway.

---