"What?"
"Try not to traumatize any children. The resort's legal team is already nervous about hosting you."
I end the call and slump against the railing. Maybe it won’t be too bad. I can see it now:
Top 10 Resort Activities That Won't Make You Want to Day Drink (Much)
A Child-Free Traveler's Guide to Surviving Family Vacation Season
How to Find Adult Time at a Family Resort (Without Getting Arrested)
Theme Parks: A Survival Guide for the Eternally Single
"God help me," I announce to the empty terrace. I look over the edge of my balcony and try to figure out whether, if I jump, I could get out of this bind. Or, just end up dead.
Either way, I’d be off the hook.
My phone pings again, with a text from Ryan:
*Remember, no day drinking on assignment. Save it for the resort's Karaoke Night.
Yeah, right.
Thirteen hours later,I'm on a flight trying not to murder the guy in seat 3B. He's got that look—the one every single woman over thirty recognizes. TheI'm going to save you from your sad, childless existence look. Complete with a fresh tan line from a recently removed wedding ring.
"So, you travel a lot?" He's been trying to engage me for twenty minutes, but I’ve successfully fended him off by wearing my headphones and closing my eyes, as if I were meditating or listening to something important.
That only works for so long. Ask me how I know.
"You on the road for work or... running from something?" he asks, trying again.
I don't look his way. "Running from murder charges. But those typically clear up after a few months."
He laughs like I'm joking.
"I travel for work too," he continues, undeterred. "Just finalized my divorce, actually. Really makes you think about what matters, you know? Family, settling down..."
"Uh-huh." I logon to the plane’s wifi and scroll through the notifications on my phone.
@KidFreeKaren: Love your anti-breeder content. Never change.
Well, that follower's in for a disappointment.