Page 111 of From Maybe to Baby

At least he can laugh about the mess that is my life.

I scroll through the drafts on my laptop. At what I’ve been trying to spin into gold. At the words that are just a giant mess.

"Send me the first column," he says. "The one that admits you’re in over your head. That you’re terrified and second-guessing everything, but you’re still showing up."

"You mean the one that says I’m falling for a guy with kids and a life I swore I’d never want?"

He shrugs. "That sums it up, doesn’t it?"

"Sure," I mutter, opening a new doc. "Why not. Let’s throw my dignity under the bus while we’re at it."

"Glad you’re catching on."

I click my tongue at him because, unfortunately, he’s right.

I callJonas before I even consider what time is it in San Francisco.

Oops.

"You up?" I ask.

His response is immediate. “Yeah. You forget how to subtract nine hours from your time zone?"

He’s not surprised to hear from me. Not at all. Like he knew I’d been calling.

Seems everyone knew this except for me.

"I am… planning my next article. And thinking of you. Professional research, you know."

"Writing about Paris romance?"

"Writing about coming home."

He’s silent for what seems like an hour. "Home?"

"If, you know, I’m still welcome. Heard there's a hockey game next week. Thought I might need to cover it. For the column."

"Very professional."

"Super duper professional." I start to pour another glass of wine but carry the bottle to the kitchen and pour what’s left down the sink. "I… though I might need someone to explain the rules of hockey to me again."

"I'm sure Lukas would volunteer."

"I was thinking of a different teacher. Someone with more... hands-on experience."

Silence again. I try not to hold my breath.

"When?" he asks.

"The home game. Thought I might surprise the kids." I pause. "And maybe interview a certain player. For research, of course."

"Professional research? What about a conflict of interest?"

"Definitely compromised. I’ve kind of thrown in the towel on all that," I say. The wine makes me braver than usual. "Just watched one of your games."

"Oh. You must be an expert then."

"Among other things. Learning a lot about... warming up. Positions. Scoring. That sort of thing."

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