"We don't talk about the Goofy part," I mutter, but he's already found the video.
There we arein the video, in front of Cinderella's castle. Lukas beaming, Jace crying because I don’t remember why, and me looking like I hadn't slept in a week. Mickey Mouse approaches, waves, and?—
"RAAAAWR," past-three-year-old-Lukas screams in delight.
"That's not how Mickey sounds," the currently-four-year-old-Lukas informs us. "That's how dinosaurs sound. Mickey sounds like this—" He launches into an impression that sounds more like someone choking.
"Very accurate," my sister says, poking her head into Jace’s room. "But maybe we should focus on packing for the new trip? The one that doesn't involve any mice? Or even better, getting some sleep?"
Jace completely ignores the crying video. I have to hand it to her for focusing on the positive. "I want Mickey. Daddy said we’re going."
I did not, in fact, say that. What I said was "maybe someday," which in parent-speak means "please stop asking." My children are developing selective hearing.
Sarah nudges me out of the way and pulls a couple things out of Jace’s dresser and puts them into a three-year-old-sized wheelie bag. Genny had wanted them to learn to carry some of their own things, which didn’t work out so well on our last trip. They went on strike, leaving me to maneuver all the luggage.
"What about a new place?" I try. "Where you see real fish instead of Finding Nemo fish."
"I want Nemo," Lukas chirps.
"Nemo is a pretend fish," Sarah jumps in, because she's the best aunt ever. "Your daddy is talking about a place with real fish. Fish you can swim with. It’s called Hawaii."
Both kids pause their Disney campaign to consider this.
"Like Nemo?" Jace asks suspiciously.
"Better than Nemo," Sarah promises. "And there's a volcano."
"A real one?" Lukas's eyes go wide. "That 'splodes?"
"Explodes," I correct automatically. "And no, it's not going to explode."
"Aww." He looks genuinely disappointed. "But Mickey has fireworks."
"Fireworks?" Sarah takes my phone and scrolls through it, landing on an episode of Lukas covering his ears and screaming—and not in delight. I'm trying to comfort him while simultaneously looking for the nearest exit.
"Maybe we skip that video," I suggest.
"No, no, this is educational." Sarah grins. "Look, there's the moment you dropped the Mickey bars trying to carry both kids at once."
"I thought we agreed never to speak of this?"
"You agreed. I never did.
"DADDY." Jace tugs my sleeve with sticky fingers—when did she get sticky? What did she even touch? She’s been in bed for hours. "Can we get ice cream in Ha-wee?"
"Hawaii," I correct. "And yes, they have shave ice, which is even better than ice cream."
This launches a detailed explanation of what shave ice is, during which Lukas manages to find every single Disney photo on my phone and Sarah continues to be absolutely no help at all.
"Look." He thrusts the phone at me. "That's when Goofy tried to hug me and I didn't like it."
Ah yes, the Goofy Incident. It was a day of Incidents.
"You know," Sarah says casually, "I hear Hawaii doesn't have any scary characters in costumes. Just beautiful beaches and fun pools and?—"
"POOLS." Both kids perk up.
"With slides?" Lukas asks hopefully.