Page 106 of From Maybe to Baby

"Wanna make Lexa something?" Lukas is saying. "A Christmas present?"

"With glitter?"

"Yes. And crayons."

I look at the last photo—the one of Genny writing in the very journal the kids and I were just looking at. She'd laugh at us now, trying to figure out what she already knew. That loving means feeling pain. And in spite of that, we keep moving forward.

The memory box closes easily. No drama, no lightning strike. Just a quiet click of doing something that needed doing.

Gloria findsme in the backyard at six a.m., lifting weights.

Her showing up is a unexpected. I consider her grab for custody of the kids pretty much an act of war.

“What can I do for you, Gloria?” I ask, working to keep the edge out of my voice.

On one hand, I don’t blame her and Bert. I know they love the kids and only want what’s best for them. But to go so far as to draw up legal documents? I got them to back off after a difficult conversation, but I’m afraid our relationship may be permanently strained.

"The kids told me about Genny's journal."

I wipe the sweat off my face. "If this is another lecture about moving too fast or too slow?—"

"It's not." She watches a squirrel jump from the fence to a tree, where he disappears. Pretty sure she’s avoiding looking at me. That she’s ashamed. That she feels badly. Which she should. “I think it's time I told you something about Genny."

I stop. Gloria hasn't offered new Genny stories since the funeral. She's been more focused on giving opinions about my parenting, my game stats, my life choices in general.

"She told me once," she continues, "that if anything ever happened to her, to help you all move forward. And she said if anything ever happened to you, to make sure she’s able to get out of bed every day, because she wasn’t sure she’d be able to.” Her voice catches. “And she went first. So here we are."

"Gloria—"

"Let me finish, Jonas. I haven't been... fair. To any of you. The kids. You. Alexa."

Hearing Alexa’s name gives me a start.

"She handles the kids well. I’ve watched her. Different from Genny, but good different. Even Bert's noticed.”

Coming from Bert, that's something. Last I saw, he was watching her like she's some sort of alien interloper.

"It doesn't matter now. She chose Paris."

"Did she? Are you sure?"

I rack up some new weights, figuring I might as well keep going while Gloria continues to insert herself into my life. It’s not going to be easy to forget her custody grab. It’s that simple.

"Lukas asked me about writing to her," she mentions, too casual to be casual. "Wants to tell her about his art show. And hockey."

That makes me turn. "Hockey? He stopped going to hockey."

"I know. And yesterday, he was talking about it again."

Damn. He didn’t say anything to me.

"Bert says your playing is getting back to where it should be. Your focus is back. That last game? Best he’s seen this season."

Jesus. My father-in-law watches my playing with an intensity greater than Coach’s?

I gesture for Gloria to take a seat on the weight bench next to me. "I'm moving forward. Always moving forward. There’s no choice, when it comes down to it. Sometimes you don’t like the hand that life deals you. Doesn’t mean you’re not going to keep playing, excuse the pun. I have kids to raise. Bills to pay. A commitment to the team."

"Right. You have responsibilities. And that doesn’t mean you can’t want good things to come your way. You know, it’s not a betrayal to Genny to be happy again. In fact, it would be a betrayal to live in misery. That would upset her more than anything."

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