Page 65 of An Ex Affair

I shrugged his hands off me. “I don’t play with a little ball all day. I do manual labor. Get my hands dirty. Save lives. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Fuck off,” he drawled, not losing that smile one bit. This was our schtick. We gave each other crap until we hit a nerve. We were damn good at this game, much to Mom’s horror when it sometimes devolved into shoves and sucker punches. “At least I don’t have that unfortunate scraggly mange on my upper lip like you. Is that fashionable in the sticks these days?”

I stroked my mustache, feeling defensive. “The ladies have no complaints about it…”

Boon scoffed. “I don’t have any complaints from the ladies either.”

I would never tell him, but he looked good. Healthy and fit, like usual. You couldn’t be a professional baseball player for asmany years as he had without being an athletic specimen, but he was starting to show the years in the fine lines fanning out from around his eyes. Hell, if he was looking old, as his older brother, I most certainly looked even older. I definitely felt it tonight.

Sadly, all this brotherly bonding had sent Boon’s woman somewhere else. I should have felt badly about that, but if Boon’s track record was anything to go by, he wasn’t serious about her anyway. He opened the fridge and grabbed me a beer, popping the top and handing it to me.

“Not that I’m mad you’re here but…why are you here, Colson?”

I took a long drink from the bottle before answering. “I’m not really sure. Just needed to get out of town and clear my head.”

Boon studied me. It was unnerving. Usually he’d be cracking more jokes by now. “Oh, fuck. You caught feelings and tried to put a ring on it, didn’t you?”

I put my beer down and cracked my knuckles. “Her name is Tully. And yeah, I caught feelings. Way back in eighth grade. But no, I didn’t try to put a ring on her finger again.”

Boon held his hands up like he wanted peace between us when we both knew he’d love to get in a little scuffle like when we were kids. “So, if it’s all good and you’re getting it on the regular, why do you look like you want to hurt my pretty face?”

I gritted my teeth and tried to remember why I flew out here. I didn’t really have a reason. It just wasn’t Blueball.

Boon put his hand on my arm and turned me toward the door. “Listen, I don’t mean to be in your business. If you want to talk about it, great. But there’s plenty of people here you can talk to. Women too, if you’re up for it.”

I shrugged off his hand, feeling nauseous. “No! I didn’t come here for a party, Boon! I just needed space to think and all this fucking noise isn’t helping.”

He held his hands up again. “Whoa. Okay. Give me a second to get everyone out.” He whirled around and left the kitchen. The music cut off a few seconds later, a chorus of boos echoing afterward. I leaned against his kitchen counter and rubbed the back of my neck. Fuck, I was wound tight and in a really bad mood. It wasn’t fair to come to Boon last minute and make him cut his party short just because I was going through something.

I just didn’t know where else to go.

“Hey.” Boon walked back into the kitchen, grabbing a fresh six-pack of beer out of the fridge. “They’re all gone. Let’s go out on the balcony.”

I followed him, seeing that the place had, indeed, cleared out. He opened a floor-to-ceiling glass door and led us to padded chairs out on a balcony with views of the whole city. The breeze over the half wall of plexiglass was a nice addition to a warm, summer night. He handed me a beer and we sat in silence, sipping the IPA and watching the lights below. My thoughts eventually slowed down, circling around one central truth.

I’d allowed myself to be right back where I was nineteen years ago. I’d learned nothing.

Turning to Boon, I ignored the bustling city below us and told him all about Tully, Blueball, the fundraiser, the fire, the way we’d come back together again. By the time I got done, we’d each drained another beer.

“I fucking did it again. I gave my heart to her and now she’s leaving.”

Boon put his empty beer bottle on the ground with a clink. “Did she say she’s leaving? Isn’t a reality show filmed onsite?”

His question stopped me in my tracks. I actually hadn’t thought through the logistics of a reality show. Television wasn’t really my area of expertise, it was Tully’s.

“I…I’m not sure.”

Boon gave me a look only a brother can give you. “Seriously? You flew all the way out here without even talking to her? Fuck, man, even I know that’s a dick move.”

“I needed space to think,” I shot back. I was feeling more than a little bit defensive. I was also feeling a bit sheepish for flying off the handle.

Boon nodded. “I get that. But leaving without talking to her about the show? About your relationship? The relationship you havetoday, not two decades ago. That was an entirely different relationship.” Boon huffed and pulled out another beer, not bothering to hand me one. “Although the way you’re acting, it sure seems like two decades ago all over again. You gonna move to some obscure town again to run away from her?”

I kicked his chair and he kicked the leg of mine right back. But the fucker made a lot of sense. I couldn’t get my mouth to form the words, but my brain was now spinning again, this time with an entirely new thought.

I’d walked away last time without a fight, thinking Tully was better off without me. Or had I just walked away to save my pride?

Well, fuck pride. I was too old to keep doing this shit. I had no pride left. I was going back to Blueball to lay it all on the line. I wanted Tully in my life, whatever way that looked like.

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