Page 86 of (Not So) Mad About You

She didn’t even wait for an answer. She turned around and her eyes widened just a fraction. “Alli.”

Alli stood up, suddenly feeling like she didn’t know what to do with her hands. Any hope that she had of her feelings for Beafading flew away. “Bea.”

???

Maybe she should have expected to see Alli there, maybe she would have if she’d have given the matter any thought. But she was busy being arrested and Alli hadn’t been at the front of her mind.

She was now, though. Standing there like she owned the place, looking too beautiful to be there. And Bea felt a shaking inside. She didn’t know what to do, what to say. Most of her wanted to rush at Alli and take her in her arms. But there was the little, sensible part that told her to hold back.

“You’re here,” she said finally.

Alli nodded. “Not arrested or anything, though,” she said quickly.

“Right,” Bea said. “I was.” Then she reconsidered. “I mean, I was arrested because I was staff, but they know I didn’t do anything and I’m not arrested anymore.”

Alli nodded. “Right. Good. That’s good to know.”

Bea opened her mouth to say something else equally inane when a man barreled between them to get to the reception desk. His elbow hit Alli and she staggered. The man turned and Bea held her breath, waiting for Alli to snap.

Alli’s face was red, her eyes glittered, and then her chest heaved with a deep breath. “Are you alright?” she asked the man.

“Yeah, sorry about that, in a bit of a hurry,” he said.

She smiled politely. “No problem.” And the man went on his way.

Bea lifted an eyebrow.

Alli coughed. “I’m, er, working on it. I’m part of a program now. A real program,” she added hastily. “I decided to take a break before looking for a new job and, well, it’s a good use of my time. I’ve got anger problems and they’ll hold me back. It’s something I need to deal with. Something I am dealing with.”

“That’s great,” Bea said. “Fantastic.” Alli was working on it. She recognized her problem. She wasn’t hiding anymore.

“Right, well…” Alli took another deep breath. “I suppose I should be going. Can’t hang around a police station all day.”

“Right,” Bea said. “Yeah, probably not.”

“Definitely not,” Alli said. “It’s not a good look.”

“No.” Why wasn’t she saying something? If not something dazzling, at least something interesting.

Alli looked at her for a long second and Bea could feel herself disappearing into those eyes. Then she blinked. “Goodbye then,” she said softly.

And she turned and walked away.

Bea watched her go, watched her disappear down the stairs, watched her open the door and walk away. And every fiber of her being clenched together, every muscle tensed, every nerve tingled. In that second, she knew that this was a defining moment, knew that she could let Alli walk out of her life forever. Or…

In one smooth movement, she sprang into action, sprinting across the tiled floor, pounding down the steps, crashing into the front door, and escaping out into the evening sun.

Chapter Thirty Five

She’d just walked away. That simple. That easy. But Alli’s heart broke a little more with every step that she took. With every inch she moved away from Bea, her chest tightened until she was swallowing, trying desperately, and futilely, to stop herself crying.

This was so ridiculous, she told herself. So stupid. It was one person, one woman. How could it mean so much?

And if it did mean so much, why hadn’t she said anything? Why hadn’t she made her voice heard, spoken her truth?

Hot tears escaped from her eyes and she stopped in the middle of the pavement, trying to get control of herself. Trying so hard to make sense of this new world that didn’t have Bea in it any longer.

Trying so hard to contain herself that when something rushed at her from behind, when someone pulled at her shoulder, when someone wrapped her in warm arms, she didn’t understand for a moment what was happening.

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