Page 65 of (Not So) Mad About You

“I’m thinking of it like a retreat,” she said softly, looking out of the window into the darkness. “Like a place to chill out, calm down, you know?” Not that she had an anger problem. “You might have been right that I needed a break,” she conceded.

“Nothing wrong with taking a holiday,” he said, sounding relieved and happier.

“Yeah, right. A holiday.”

“Great. Well, have fun, I suppose. I’ll see you in a week or so.”

She hung up and, for a second, was paralyzed with what she’d just done. Then she remembered Bea’s warm, dark eyes,the touch of her hands, and began to shiver. The decision was made. And weirdly, she thought it was quite a good one. She was staying.

Chapter Twenty Six

Bea nudged the sleeping form next to her. Alli’s legs were wrapped around hers and an arm was slung over her waist and an alarm clock was vibrating wildly under the pillow. “Wake up,” she hissed.

Alli groaned and pulled Bea closer to her.

“No, you have to wake up,” Bea said.

“Don’t make me get angry,” muttered Alli.

“Not even funny. Come on. It’s five already. You need to go back to your own bed.”

With a long sigh, Alli stumbled out of bed and pulled on her robe. Then she bent over Bea, kissing her, pressing her to her body. “Tonight,” she whispered in a voice that made Bea shiver all over.

When she was gone, Bea lay down again, trying to get another hour of sleep. She was tired, she needed the sleep, but it was like this every morning after Alli left. It was hard to sleep without her here. More than a week of cuddling and sharing a bed had made the suddenly empty-seeming mattress less comfortable.

Bea sighed. More than a week. It sounded like no time at all and like so much time. What it did mean was that the program was almost over, that in just a couple of days Alli and Izzy and the others would be going and then…

And then what?

It was all very well thinking that they had time to experiment, time to figure things out, that the time they were here was time outside of reality. But at some point, reality was going to rear its ugly head again, and that point was getting nearer and nearer.

Two nights from now, she’d be back in her little bed in her own guest room, trying not to hear Robbie and Marilyn closed up in her room, thinking of all the things she could be doing with Alli.

It wasn’t a pleasant thought.

It was particularly unpleasant because Bea was actually pretty certain about what she wanted. Alli. That was what she wanted. Alright, they were just at the beginning of things, just getting to know each other, but there was something there and she knew that given a chance they could make something.

Given her dreams, Bea would just move straight into her new apartment in the building opposite Liz’s, bringing Alli with her so that they could sleep in each other’s arms every night.

Whether or not Alli would be amenable to this situation was another question. Mostly because Bea had lacked the courage to bring it up in any way. She was afraid. Afraid that Alli would say that this was all there was.

Which was stupid, she knew that. She sighed and sat up. She might as well get up and do some exercise. She wasn’t going to sleep again. And, she promised herself, she was going to talk to Alli. Time was running out and there was a conversation that they needed to have. A big one.

THERE WAS JUST time after breakfast and before her first yoga class to grab coffee in the staffroom. The place seemed empty now that it was mostly just her and Josh. Lex popped her head around the door every now and again, but she was so busy that she barely had time to eat.

“Morning,” Josh said blearily. He rarely made it to breakfast.

“Morning. Coffee?”

“Please.” He yawned and stretched. “So, big day, eh?”

Bea filled up her cup and another. “Big day?”

“It’s contract renewal day,” said Josh, accepting a cup. “Today’s the day that Luke goes around and asks everyone if they’re coming back or not. Are you joining for the next program if he’ll have you?”

Bea blew out a breath. She’d been so preoccupied with Alli she honestly hadn’t thought about it. A week ago this was all she’d wanted, a steadier job, the possibility to make some money. Alright, the money wasn’t a lot, but it did mean that she didn’t have to live with Robbie and Marilyn.

Plus, there were going to be moving costs too. She could probably use the cash.

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