Page 50 of (Not So) Mad About You

“What things?” asked Lex.

“Those pulse-pounding stupid things like you see in the films. I never got that. It wasn’t that I couldn’t…” She had to take another breath. Screw it. She’d started now and she was never going to have another chance like this, was she? Someone who couldn’t tell anyone else anything.

“Couldn’t what?” Lex prompted.

“I can orgasm,” Alli said, jumping in with both feet. “I mean physically, I seem to be fine. Not that I have much time for that sort of thing. I just never felt the things I was supposed to feel around men, and I sort of figured I was broken. Like how noteveryone can be good at maths. I was good at maths but bad at men.”

“I see,” said Lex. “And then you kissed a woman. That concerns you?”

“Concerns me?” Alli frowned.

“I mean, how do you feel about it?”

“Hot,” Alli said. “Hot and sweaty and like my legs don’t work properly.”

Lex let a small smile escape. “Like you might not be so broken after all?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Alli turned to look out of the window. “I don’t know why her, though. She’s the opposite of me in every way that counts.”

“Opposites attract, I’m sure you’ve heard that,” Lex said. “But in a relationship sometimes opposites benefit each other, fill in the gaps in each other in a way.”

“Who’s talking about relationships?” snapped Alli, bringing her attention back to Lex.

“You kissed,” Lex said. “There’s a natural progression from there that could potentially lead to a relationship. Is that not something that you’d like?”

“Someone in my home? Someone complaining because I’m late home from work? Someone constantly needing my attention when it should be focused elsewhere?”

“Ah.” Lex nodded. “Relationships look different for different people. There’s no fixed way that these things have to go. The only thing that I would counsel you on is the fact that communication and understanding are important.”

“Okay,” Alli said slowly.

“I mean that it’s important that you’re both on the same page. If this isn’t going to lead to anything more serious for you, then the other person involved should know that.” Lex cleared her throat. “And, um, it’s not especially advisable for programmers to be involved with each other in the program. This is a difficult time for many people.”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” Alli said, distracted by thethought of what Bea might want, what she herself might want. She stood up. “And my time’s up. I’m getting out of here.”

“Before you go,” Lex said. “I am supposed to ask you if you have any idea what might have happened to Daria?”

“Not a clue,” Alli said as she breezed out of the therapy room.

“WHAT A MORNING,” Izzy said as she bought her lunch and sat down next to Alli.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Alli, not thrilled at the prospect of lunch with Izzy, but also slightly worried that someone might have seen her kiss Bea. Or even that Bea might have told someone.

Shit. She’d been the one blackmailing Bea and now she’d turned around and given Bea blackmail material right back. Maybe Bea was going to report her for harassment. She hadn’t thought about that.

“First Daria disappears, then Charles kicking up a fuss like that,” Izzy said as she picked up her sandwich.

Alli squinted at her. “Charles kicking up a fuss?”

“Oh, right, you were in therapy,” said Izzy, putting the sandwich back down again. “Charles went off to make a phone call after breakfast, you know, like he always does.”

“Does he?” Alli was beginning to tune her out already, starting to think about her own problems. One thing was becoming quite clear to her. She shouldn’t have kissed Bea. And she definitely shouldn’t do it again. Even if the thought made her feel warm and oozy inside.

“Yes, obviously,” Izzy said. “He calls his kids and then he calls his solicitor to see how his case is going. Seriously? We’ve been here for days already.”

“Get to the point.”

“Well,” Izzy said happily, picking up her sandwich again. “He comes back from the phone and he’s seething, demanding to know where Luke is, angrier than I’d ever imagined he could get.” She took a mouthful and chewed thoughtfully. “I didn’tthink he really belonged here at all, but now that I’ve seen him get angry…”

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