Page 31 of (Not So) Mad About You

“Right.” She eyed him, but he was already turning toward his breakfast.

“Just don’t do anything silly. And don’t forget, group sessionsstart today.”

“I won’t, and it won’t matter to me,” she said cheerily, walking in the opposite direction.

The yoga room was at the end of the corridor and she went in, thinking it would do her no harm to stretch. The door closed behind her and suddenly she was face to face with Bea.

Not quite as close as in her dream, but close enough. Close enough that she could smell Aloe Vera shampoo and see that little scar on her hairline.

“You’re early,” Bea said chirpily.

Alli took a step back, feeling her back hit the door. “No, I’m not,” she said stupidly.

Bea lifted an eyebrow. “Um, you really are.”

Alli swallowed, the pictures from her dream coming back to her, the ghost of sensations tickling along her skin. Then she shook herself. This was stupid. She was stupid. “Yeah, well, I didn’t know you’d be here,” she said, pushing herself back off the door and holding her head high.

“I’m just getting warmed up,” Bea said. “You don’t have to leave, you’re welcome to stay.”

Why was she being nice? Why had she given Alli a cookie the other day? Why was she smiling? It made no sense. Alli felt a spike of anger in her chest. If it weren’t for Bea herself then she’d never have had that dream, she should be long gone by now, Bea should have got her out of the program, at the very least should have got her better treatment and a phone.

“Actually, I’m glad to run into you,” Alli said, taking control of the conversation. “Do you have my phone?”

“No… no,” Bea said. “But I assumed I’d have until the end of the day.”

Alli rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right. Are you actually going to get this done? Because to be honest with you, I’m getting sick and tired of this. You lost your temper with me, I have a hold over you, you need to be giving something back if I’m not going to Luke about your little anger management problem.”

“I’m trying,” Bea said. She swallowed and her cheeksreddened. “Though actually, whilst we’re talking about anger management, I think you should give a little thought to the fact that you should be here, that this isn’t a mistake. You’ve obviously got issues.”

Alli’s blood pumped harder. “I what? I’ve got issues?” She laughed bitterly. “I’ll tell you something, I’d rather have my kind of issues than yours.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, at least I’m not a failure of a yoga teacher stuck in some crappy retreat. You probably don’t even get paid what I make an hour for the entire program, do you?” She walked closer. “And you know what’s worse? Not being able to stand up for yourself, not having the courage, the backbone to walk away from a situation where you’re being taken advantage of.”

“I… I…” Bea started to stutter.

“Oh, give it a rest,” Alli said. “It’s not like you have anything of importance to say.” She was gearing herself up now, ready to go into another rant, ready to really scare Bea off, when she saw the glitter of tears in Bea’s eyes.

Bea was crying.

Alli’s heart stopped for a second.

“Wait, wait, are you crying?”

“Why would you care?” Bea said, furiously wiping tears away with her sleeve.

“Because…” Alli’s stomach flipped over and now she did feel the sourness. “I didn’t expect you to cry,” she said.

“Then why would you say such horrible things?”

Alli stared at her. This had never happened to her before. Granted, she generally yelled at shop clerks and corporate men, but she’d never actually had someone break down in tears. She didn’t really know what to do.

“I, um, I didn’t mean them,” she said, her anger fizzling away to nothing. “I was just cross because you said I had anger problems.”

Bea sniffed and wiped her eyes again.

“Jesus, I’m sorry.” Alli stepped in and without thinking, puther arm around Bea. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

---