Page 14 of (Not So) Mad About You

To her surprise, Alli found herself handing over her phone.

“And the laptop that’s in your bag, please.”

She hadn’t been about to hand that over. But before she could kick up a fuss about it, he’d already opened the bag and slipped it out.

“Excellent. Now how about meeting your fellow participants?” Josh said, with a wide, patient smile.

“That won’t be necessary.” What had happened to official complaints? She had the distinct feeling that she’d been taken advantage of.

“They’re having coffee and waiting for the program to begin,” he said. “There’s cake. Sandwiches too. Celine whips up a very satisfying Victoria Sponge, light as air.”

Alli’s stomach grumbled. But she said nothing, just stared.

“Fine, fine,” Josh said finally. “We’ll wander through and have a look on the way to Mr. Bradshaw’s office, alright?”

Alli said nothing but stepped out of the dreary room and let Josh lead the way back downstairs.

IN A COLD room with damp air, a sad group of people gathered around a coffee urn and Alli’s patience was wearing thinner by the second.

“Coffee?” Josh asked.

“No,” snapped Alli. “Get me out of here.”

“No time to meet your fellow participants?” asked Josh.

A row of sad faces looked around at her and Alli could seeimmediately that they weren’t her kind of people. Not that she was a snob just, well, she could tell these things.

“Let’s see,” Josh said cheerfully. “We’ve got Julia.” An older woman. “Charles.” A sadder than average looking man. “Izzy.” Younger and slightly brighter than the others. “Marcus.” Probably a serial killer, or headed in that direction. “And Leslie.” So beige she was practically invisible. “Now, how about that coffee?”

“No,” Alli said, patience finally snapping. “Absolutely not. You’ve taken my personal electronics, you’ve practically kidnapped me, I’m not at all sure that I’m not a prisoner here, you are going to take me to see your boss right this instant or I’m going to be calling my lawyer.”

There was a stunned silence.

“You’ve got no phone,” pointed out one of the others. Probably Marcus. He looked like he had a death wish.

“Now!” Alli barked at Josh.

With a sigh, he turned and walked out. Alli stalked after him. She wasn’t staying here. Not in this cut-rate holiday camp. There was no way in hell.

Chapter Seven

The place looked like a haunted convent, or perhaps one of those abandoned mansions that kids filmed themselves breaking into. But Bea was in too much of a hurry to pay attention to the details. Bag over her shoulder, she raced up the stairs and had just enough time to wonder whether she was supposed to knock or ring before the door opened.

“Are you the yoga teacher?”

Bea’s mouth opened but words wouldn’t come out. The man who’d opened the door looked like a giant. And not the nice BFG kind of giant, but the other kind, the kind that crunched children’s bones and drank their blood.

Then he smiled and his eyes lit up and he was holding out a hand. “The name’s Josh, I’m general dog’s body, security when necessary, and, um, I teach mindfulness.” He blushed a little at this.

“That’s amazing,” said Bea, grinning up at him. “I mean, the breadth of qualifications there is pretty impressive.”

He grinned back. “And you’re yoga?”

“Yes. Well, no. I’m technically Bea. But I’m here to teach yoga.”

“Brilliant, in you come,” Josh said, taking a step back so that she could slide in.

Bea’s nose wrinkled. Cold cabbage and instant mashed potatoes. The place smelled like a bad primary school.

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