Page 90 of Loving Jemima

Ellie laughed a little and her face got more color. “Jem, I never asked you to come out, but I can see how I might have put you into a position where you thought you had to. Could you everforgive me for that?”

“Forgive you for finally pushing me into being me?” Jem said, surprised. “Ellie, I hate to break it to you, but I came out for me, not for you.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“As sure as I am that I have feelings for you.” Jem reached out and smoothed Ellie’s hair. “I know all the cons. I know that I’m rich and spoiled and closeted. I know that I’m the opposite of you. I know that you’re sensible and ambitious and out and proud. But opposites are supposed to attract, aren’t they?”

Ellie smiled a little more. “They are. But what you did, Jem… Just dumping me over text like that…”

“Was horrific. I realized the minute that I did it. But I didn’t know how to take it back. This is me here saying that I’m sorry. I had truly good intentions, and I screwed it all up.”

“Okay,” said Ellie, looking down at her hands.

“And this is me here saying that I can’t get you out of my head. I know we haven’t known each other long, but I’ve up-ended my life for you because you deserve it, because you made me want to do it. I think of you every night when I go to sleep, every morning when I wake up. Every second that I’m away from you I spend thinking about you. I either have real feelings or I’m having some kind of psychotic break.”

“Let’s only have one of us under psychiatric care at a time, please,” Ellie said. She was looking up now, her eyes clear and dark and Jem wanted more than anything to kiss her. “I’ve had a hell of a day.”

“What happened?” asked Jem, suddenly concerned. Ellie told her about Paul, the neighbor that had seemed so nice, and Jem felt a ball of anger in her stomach. “I’ll kill him.”

“Not necessary,” Ellie said. “But it did drive home the point that what we assume about people isn’t necessarily the truth. And…” She seemed to hesitate and then made up her mind. “And it made me think that perhaps it would be better to spend a little more time doing the things that I want rather than the things that I should.”

Jem allowed her lips to twitch. “Is that you saying that you want me?”

“Perhaps,” Ellie said, drawing closer.

“I’m going to need a definite yes or no, I’m afraid.”

Ellie smiled for real this time. “Jemima Darlington, I have feelings for you. What they are, I don’t know yet, but I’d very much like to take some time to find out.”

“I could deal with that,” Jem said. “I’d like to maybe… take you on a date.”

“That’d be nice.” Ellie closed her eyes.

“You look exhausted,” Jem said. And instead of kissing her as she truly wanted to do, she pulled Ellie close and held her in her arms. “I’m so sorry about what happened to you, you must have been terrified.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” admitted Ellie. “I can’t feel unsafe in my own home.”

“Then move.”

“You make that sound easy.”

Jem pulled back a little. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I have a spare room and, since my circumstances have changed and I’m working on becoming an independent and ambitious woman, I’m in need of a roommate to help pay the rent.”

“Are you serious?” Ellie said.

“No pressure. You’re not required to date your roommate if things don’t work out. But it is a safe place, even if you only want to stay a few months. With Constable, of course.”

Ellie breathed in, then out. “I’m not very used to being taken care of,” she said.

“Then you’d better get used to it,” said Jem.

Then she did kiss her, slowly and deeply as the silence crept in around them and the only sound was the soft rustling of clothing as it dropped to the floor.

Epilogue

“Keep still,” Jem said as Ellie wriggled in her black dress.

“Then stop tickling me,” Ellie said right back. Jem’s hands were warm on her skin and half of her wanted to turn around and kiss her firmly on the mouth, wanted to press her backward until they both fell onto the bed.

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