Page 33 of Theirs to Ruin

I had her for a few months—baring her soul to me, even crying in my arms at one point—before she cut me off. She said it was because she was better, that she didn’t need counseling anymore, but I knew the truth.

I’d seen it in her eyes. In the hardening of her nipples. In the shivers that ran through her entire body when we touched, at first shaking hands then hugging at the beginning of every session.

She’d wanted me.

Just like she’d wanted me out at the overlook earlier.

Damn, I could still taste her on my tongue and I was already a fucking addict.

Only I couldn’t have more.

I was too old for her, too fucked up, and too caught up in a lifestyle I didn’t want but felt compelled to continue. But that didn’t mean I was going to walk away from her.

Things were happening at Crimsonvale University. Dark things. It started with me, but it didn’t end there. So I watched her, telling myself I was a protector when I knew damn well I was also a predator.

I stripped off my clothes, showered, then threw a pillow on the floor. Buck ass naked, I sat on the pillow cross-legged and closed my eyes. Taking several deep breaths, I ran through a meditation that had me relaxing parts of my body one at a timeas different colored lights passed through me. By the time I was done, my mind was cleared of everything but the sounds and feel of my breath filling my lungs. I luxuriated in that state of mindfulness for as long as I could until it passed and my brain flipped back on.

Meeting Camille had saved me from killing myself last year. My meditative practices had saved me from killing myself in the years before that. I was a constant work in progress as my actions at Devil’s Engine the night before and at the overlook today proved, but as I’d told Camille, it was only in accepting who we truly were that we could grow and live.

I had no illusions about who and what I was.

Climbing to my feet, I dropped into bed, my hands behind my head. As I stared at the ceiling, I thought of Kage O’Hare and how he’d looked like he wanted to kill me for coming between him and Camille.

I’d known for a while that Kage was attracted to Camille. He hid it well, but I’d catch him looking at her, hunger in his eyes. As far as I knew, though, he’d kept his distance. The guy normally fucked anything that moved, so I suspected his restraint was because he cared enough about her not to drag her into the shitshow that was his life. I got the impression this afternoon that things had changed, and that Kage had finally made his move.

It probably happened after she was roofied at The Roost and Kage rescued her.

I was still pissed at Mick, the bartender, for taking his eyes off Camille to fuck his girlfriend Tammy in the backroom. Mick wore the evidence of my displeasure for over a week.

I’d made a lot of progress trying to be a better man. But the one thing that set me off more than anything else was the mere thought of Camille being hurt.

I’m not sure I’d ever believe any man deserved her even if she wasn’t perfect.

She was amazing, my comfort against my own tortured mind, but she was living in the past, cared too much about pleasing her dad, and lacked confidence about her worth and her appeal to men.

No she wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t care.

She was a goddess.

A mix of incredible strength she didn’t even know she possessed and an innocence that drew me in. She could be sassy but she was always sweet, and I craved that sweetness like a drug. Just like I did her purity—purity that had nothing to do with her sexuality but her soul.

To me, she was perfectly imperfect.

Broken and beautiful.

Kintsugi.

Chapter 13

Camille

Icouldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I was right back at the lookout with Dante’s mouth on mine. I still couldn’t believe a guy like him would be attracted to someone like me, even if he was determined to resist the attraction. Eventually I slept, only to be jarred awake a few hours later by my alarm. Groaning, I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed.

The morning’s classes went by in a blur but by noon I was awake and energized. I was actually looking forward to my upcoming art class. As much as my memories of Ty often hurt me, the memories of his drawings brought me surprising peace. I’d never be as talented as him, but I had some natural talent, too, and somehow my mind could distance the asshole’s betrayal from the sheer objective beauty of his work.

As I headed across campus to the Student Union to meet Simone, my phone buzzed.

It was a text from Kage.

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