Page 133 of Theirs to Ruin

“Why?”

“Because it makes me feel fucking generous and I like feeling that way about you,” he said with a grin. “If you’re not careful, I might start scheduling regular breaks just so I can get you off.”

“I certainly wouldn’t complain,” I said. And it wouldn’t surprise me either. Kage was very generous. With his time, his money, his affection. How he managed his class load and other responsibilities, and still had time for me, I didn’t know. "Since we haven’t scheduled Make-Camille-Come breaks, yet, what's on your agenda today?"

Kage kept stroking my hair. "I’ve got a class later. And then there's a meeting with my project group. Senior year's a bitch. What about you?"

"Just a class in the afternoon. Other than that, pretty open." I picked up his hand and studied the silver ring on his finger, the one with the Celtic design.

“Does this mean anything?” I asked, tracing my finger over the three swirly circles etched into the ring.

“It’s a Triskelion. A symbol that represents the physical world, the spiritual world, and the afterlife. It represents our lives…and our deaths, but it’s also said to bring good luck.”

“It’s beautiful. It kind of reminds me of the tops of trees.”

“Makes sense. Remember the Tree of Life I told you about? Whatever kind of tree it is, it represents so much. Strength. Endurance. Prosperity. Roots. Courage.”

I rested my chin on his chest. “That’s a lot.” I hesitated, thinking about Ava’s tattoo. “But it’s good, right? That Ava chose that tattoo? Maybe it meant that despite what happened to her with those men, she believed in her own strength?”

“I’d like to think that,” he said, but something flickered across his face. A hint of unease.

I slowly sat up. “What is it? Do you think the tattoo meant something else?”

Kage sighed. “It’s just speculation on my part. I told you Ava picked a yew tree instead of an oak. The yew tree stands for strength and endurance and all those things, but it also has other meanings. Immortality for one, but it’s also believed to be an omen of doom. And Ava knew that.”

“I hate that,” I whispered.

Kage sat up. “Me, too.”

I put my hand on his arm. “About what the police said about Ava… Are you going to accept what they said about her having a heart attack? Wait for the final coroner’s report?”

“I’m going to make sure the policedon’twait on it and keep investigating. But I don’t know what good it will do. I’ve been riding the cops’ asses, and they’ve checked all the damn securitycameras on campus. They talked to a bunch of her friends, too. They haven’t come up with any leads.”

I pushed myself up slightly, my elbow digging into the soft bed. "And you’re sure there weren’t clues in her diary? She wrote down everything in that thing.”

"You’re right. Ava wrote down everything. The deepest, darkest parts of her. But nothing about anyone she’d been seeing or why someone would have wanted to kill her."

“Oh.” My mind raced. "Did she write anything down about me? About why she grew to hate me?”

“Enough for me to know she didn’t truly hate you. She admired you, Camille. So much that it consumed her with jealousy."

I blinked in surprise, not expecting that. "Jealous? Of what?"

His thumb brushed over my cheekbone, his touch light but grounding. "Your innocence, for starters," he murmured. "Your purity. Your unstoppable drive. The way you believe there are still beautiful things worth chasing in this cruel world. She lost that and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t get it back.”

I swallowed hard, memories of freshman year flooding back. A year of navigating the challenges of college life, of bonding, of simple joys. “’I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.’”

“Anne Frank,” Kage said.

I nodded. “I’ve always loved that quote. I’ve always wanted to believe it. But after everything’s that happened, I don’t think it applies to everyone anymore. Some people are just plain bad.” I looked up at him. “But I believe the quote applies to Ava. It doesn’t matter how she treated me in the end, I know she was good.”

“You managed to see that part of her when others didn’t.”

“It was easy in the beginning. She was fun. Do you know she tried teaching me to knit? But I was hopeless.”

Kage smiled sadly. “She took it up after she was kidnapped. She said sometimes it helped distract her from the dark stuff in her head. So if she shared that with you, that meant something to her.”

A lump formed in my throat, my emotions swirling.

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