Page 62 of Forever Fake

“What are you doing?” I test the restraints, finding them secure. “Blake, what is this?”

“Shh.” He lights a candle on the bedside table and a warm glow washes over us. “Do you trust me, magpie? Will you give your control over to me so I can show you everything I can give you?”

“M-my control?”

“Did I stutter? Yes, your control.” His blue eyes bore into me. I shake my head. He didn’t stutter, I’m just repeating what he said as a stalling tactic as I try to wrap my brain around why he’s tied me to the headboard, and not panic.

“I…” My words trail off as he caresses the edge of my breast and my heart pounds harder against my ribcage.

“What’s wrong?”

I’m breathing in short, shallow puffs of air, my vision darkening at the corners. I tug again, trying to free my wrists this time as blazing panic threatens to pull me under.

“Shit. Stop, you’ll hurt yourself.” Blake makes quick work of the restraints, then takes my hands in his and massages my sore wrists. “What just happened, Gin? Talk to me.”

I shake my head, my entire body trembling with adrenaline.

“Please, talk to me.”

“I-I can’t.” I squeeze my eyes closed and focus on my breathing, willing myself to calm down. “I’m sorry.” My voice is barely above a whisper, but he hears me and pulls me against his chest. His strong arms wrap around my shivering frame and I sigh, the dread leaving as quickly as it came.

“Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry for, ever.” He rubs circles on my back. “I’m sorry for frightening you. You were okay yesterday morning when I held your arms above your head and fucked you, so I thought restraining you with my tie would be fine. Obviously, I was wrong.”

I inhale his masculine scent, feeling terrible about overreacting. If only I told him about… what happened, then he’d understand. But I can’t bring myself to say anything about it. It’s too embarrassing. I’m too ashamed. The past needs to stay right where it is, in my past. Though times like this I wonder if it ever won’t come to haunt me.

What if… what if I can change things, make a different future for myself?

“Blake?”

“Yes?”

I tentatively reach for his silk tie and hold it out to him. “Tie me up.”

“No. I won’t?—”

“Please. You took me by surprise before and it freaked me out, but I’m ready now. I want this, please.” I want him to do this to me. He’s Blake, not Oliver, and there’s a world of difference between these two men. I know that now.

He studies me for several long moments, his bright blue gaze seeming to dive beneath my skin, laying my soul, and all of my secrets, bare to him. If only it was that easy to let him in, to allow him to see all of me, but it’s not. Even if I want it to be sometimes.

“Take away my control,” I tell him. “Show me.”

His eyes scan my face one more time. “If you want me to stop, just say so. Understand?”

I nod.

“Use your words, Gin.”

“I understand.”

“Good girl.” He takes the tie from me and loops it around my wrists, tight enough to hold them together, but not as secure as before. “Now I’m going to blindfold you.”

Oh god. What have I gotten myself into?

I swallow hard, and he narrows his assessing gaze on me. “Okay,” I murmur and nod. He reaches toward me, securing the blindfold in place, and plunging me into darkness. I release a shuddering breath.

“I’ll never hurt you, Gin, you know that.” His deep, silky voice chases away my demons. “Now lie back and let me taste you. Here, let me guide you.” His large hands ease me back onto the mattress. “Let go, baby girl, I’ve got you.”

Without being able to see or reach for him, I let my other senses take over. His palms smooth up my thighs, parting my legs, his hot breath teases my bare pussy. He nibbles at the soft flesh between my legs, leaving his mark on my inner thigh before dragging his tongue to my clit. I whimper as he circles it. The partial sensory deprivation heightens his every touch.

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