Page 85 of Sinful Scars

After he finally let me turn on the light, I thought it would bring us closer together. Not further apart.

I try not to let it bother me, but how can I not feel used?

“You seem agitated, Elle.” Dr. Mills’s voice brings me back to our consultation, her pen hovering over her notebook.

“Mmm…” I fiddle with the hem of my sweater.

For my last few sessions, I’ve managed to steer the subject away from Lev and have focused mostly on my past issues. But I knew that at some point I was going to have to admit the truth about my relationship, if I can even call it that, to Dr. Mills.

“Is there something particular on your mind?”

“Yes. You’re going to think I’ve gone insane.”

“I’m not here to judge you, Elle. Whatever it is, let’s work through it together.”

“I slept with him. There. I said it. Out loud.”

“Slept with whom, Elle?”

“My stalker.” I half-laugh, half-sob. “I slept with him, and he’s essentially blowing me off. If that’s even possible… Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me!” I throw my hands up in the air.

“Let’s take a step back.”

But I ignore her. It’s as if now that I’ve finally been honest, I can’t seem to stop.

“Oh, and I found out his real identity.” I scoff. “No thanks to my cousin who went blurting about the entire thing to her husband and his family. Turns out, not only is he their missing half-brother, but he’s done some pretty dark stuff that has directly hurt the people I care about. So, that puts me in a pretty tricky situation.”

“What kind of dark stuff?”

“I’m not dismissing what he’s done, but he’s repeatedly put himself in danger to protect me, and I can’t just forget that.”

“Does your cousin, or any of your family for that matter, know the extent of your relationship?”

“No. And they can’t ever know.”

“Why is that?”

“Because…” I run my fingers through my hair. “They think I’m in danger.”

“And what doyouthink?”

“I think I’m an idiot for pining after a guy who’s clearly only interested in one thing. Which I practically gave to him on a silver platter, by the way. I didn’t make him work for it one bit, and now he’s done with me.”

“Elle, let’s think rationally for a moment.”

“I’m not sure I can.”

“Do you think you’re in danger?”

“No, which is what I kept trying to say to Mikhail and his brothers. But they’rerefusingto hear my side. They’re treating me like a silly little girl who can’t make decisions for herself! So no, I don’t want to tell them the truth because they’ll likely lock me up and throw away the key.”

“Is what your family will think the only thing that’s keeping you from being together, do you think? Because I’m assuming that’s what you want.”

“I thought that’s what we both wanted, but since I learned who he really is, I’ve not heard from him.”

My eyes start to sting, which only infuriates me more.

“So, I have no idea what’s happening between us.”

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