Page 98 of The Good Girl

I fist my hands and bite back the vicious retort I feel on the back of my tongue. I’m better than that, and I refuse to let him bait me into making me the same kind of bitter and twisted human he is.

“Your house stopped being my home a long time ago. I’m done arguing with you. I love you, Daddy, but I don’t like you very much right now. I hate that someone came and stole my sister and broke what was once a happy family apart. I hate that after all these years, you still give him the power to do it over and over again. Citi is gone, but I’m still here. One day, I hope we can find a way to live with the memories that haunt us. But right now?” I shake my head. “I can’t give you any more pieces of me just so you can discard the parts that don’t matter to you. You take me as I am, or don’t take me at all.”

He opens his mouth, but I hold my hand up and stop him. “Not today. You’re not ready, and honestly, neither am I. You need to grieve for Citi. Find a way to move forward. Nobody is asking you to forget her, but you can’t change what’s happened.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” he snaps, the look of anguish ravaging my insides until I feel torn apart. “I can’t move on,Nevaeh. How does someone move on from that? You don’t get it. She might have been your sister, but she was my baby girl,” he chokes as tears slip down his cheeks.

“I was your baby girl, too. You still had me. That’s the part I don’t understand. Citi might have been taken, but you ignored me to the point where I thought I was invisible. I get that you were hurt, but you don’t have the market cornered on grief. You lost your daughter. I lost my twin. I lost my whole damn family. And now, after years of emotional abuse, you come here and try to take my new family from me too? No. Hell no.”

“I think it’s time for you to leave.” Havoc takes over when he feels me shaking beneath his fingers.

“Who are you to tell me?” My father’s snarl is cut off, but Havoc’s quiet but firm voice remains.

“I’m the man who loves her. I’m the man who wipes her tears, who makes her laugh, supports her, and protects her. I’ll never look at those things as anything less than the gifts they are because taking care of your daughter is my privilege. I’m going to marry her one day. God willing, we’ll have babies together and maybe even grandchildren. I pray we never have to deal with what you did. I can’t even imagine your pain, but I would never leave my other children to fight the currents of sorrow while letting myself drown in it.”

“Go home, Dad. Go pray to a god you don’t even believe in anymore. Lie to your reflection and curse my existence if that’s what you need. There is no place for me there anymore anyway.”

“I think it’s time to leave, sir,” Officer Jacobs states.

“You’re making a mistake,” my father tells me, his eyes locked on mine.

“Your house is not a home. It’s a shrine. Until you can see the difference, I think you should stay away,” Amity tells my dad gently, making him wince. He takes a final look at me before storming off.

The two officers, who look a little uncomfortable, offer their apologies.

“I’m sure he told you a really good story. He’s a pastor. If there is one thing he’s good at, it’s telling tales that draw you in and make you believe.” I sigh.

“We’ll follow him to make sure he leaves anyway. I’d rather we keep the peace than have to deal with any issues,” Officer Pauly says.

“We won’t be opening the gate for him, so there will be no issues on our end. The only time we’ll call you is if he turns up and refuses to leave,” Havoc warns them.

The other cop looks from me to Havoc, his eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“This is not one of those times where I’m saying something to distract you from the truth. I’m not hurt, battered, or bruised. I’m not a sex slave or a drug addict or whatever the heck else you might be thinking. And honestly, I’m starting to feel a little offended that you’re judging these people—people you don’t know—because of the cuts they’re wearing. Imagine if I did the same thing to police officers, because lord knows there are enough corrupt ones around.”

His partner says something to him. His words are urgent but too damn quiet for me to hear. “Thank you for your time,” he says before they both turn and leave.

I relax against Havoc, feeling as if my strings have been cut.

“I’m so proud of you,” Amity says, rushing over to hug me.

I feel emotionally wrung out, but there is something to be said about the sense of empowerment when you find the courage to stand up for yourself. It doesn’t undo the pain his words caused, but they would have hurt regardless. You can’t stand in front of a man who sharpens his words like knives and not expect to get cut. Standing up for myself was a way to limit the damage and help me heal faster.

“It was time. It doesn’t make it feel any less crappy, but I couldn’t hide from him forever. I think I have Havoc to thank for that.”

I look at him over my shoulder.

“What did I do?”

“Made me realize that if I’m strong enough to stand up to you, then I’m strong enough to stand up to him.”

“Parents always feel larger than life because we spent our childhoods looking up to them both physically and emotionally.”

“Plus, they’re supposed to be our heroes, when truth be told, parents are often the ones that fuck us up the most,” G adds, reaching over to ruffle my hair the way an annoying big brother would. I growl at him, making him grin, but secretly, I love it. I don’t think I truly realized how lonely I was until I found myself here, surrounded by people who don’t know the meaning ofpersonal space. They love fast and hard, and with everything they have. And the best part, they never let go.

I retreat to our room to lick my wounds and lose myself in a book.

I must doze off because the sound of my stomach rumbling jolts me awake.

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