Page 85 of The Good Girl

“You mean, just tell him everything at once?” She nods. “Right, because what could possibly go wrong?”

She reaches out and grabs my hand. “You’ve been putting it off long enough. He’s expecting you back from Bible camp soon; summer’s almost over. You can’t hide from him forever.” I bite my lip, knowing she’s right. “Unless you’ve changed your mind about staying?”

I know she wants me to stay, and she knows it’s what’s best for me, but she’d swallow down her disappointment and support me no matter what. She’s the one person in my life who’s never let me down.

My thoughts keep spinning as I wonder if Havoc will be another. So far, he’s proved there isn’t much he won’t do for me, but will that always be the case? What happens when what I want or need conflicts with the club?

“Don’t go looking for problems.”

“Huh?”

“I can tell when you’re overthinking, Pippin. And I have a feeling it’s about Havoc. Forget him for now. I honestly don’t think you’ll be able to get rid of the man that easily anyway. Right now, this isn’t about him or me. It’s about you. If you can see yourself going back home and being happy, then I’ll support you one hundred percent. But if you know that going back will drain the life out of you, then stay.” She squeezes my hand tighter. “I don’t want to watch my best friend fade away just for some misguided sense of duty. The only thing I care about is you and your happiness.”

“How did I get so lucky” I squeeze her hand back. “And I know you’re right. I wasn’t joking when I said I wanted to stay. I…I feel like I can breathe here. I love my dad, but there is nothing there for me anymore except ghosts and bad memories.”

“It’s the right decision, but it won’t be easy. He’s going to try to manipulate you and guilt you into going home, and if that doesn’t work, he’ll try to make you feel two inches tall.”

I want to argue, but she puts up her hand to stop me, her voice softens. “It’s what he always does, Pippin. Time and time again. He takes your love and twists it into something he can use to control you. That’s not what love is. And before Havoc came along, I was terrified you’d think that was normal and end up in an abusive relationship.”

I feel my eyes well up. “I didn’t realize he was doing that.” I sigh, wiping away the tears that have fallen. “No, that’s a lie. I just didn’t want to see it. I’ve made a million excuses for him, but I refused to see the truth.”

We sit in silence for a moment as I try to get my thoughts in order.

“I really was going to tell him I was staying. But I knew he’d be mad. That’s why I waited so long. I’m happy here, and I knew he’d ruin it. And now, with my true identity coming out, my dad will find out that I write romance books. And not even sweet, clean romance, but dirty, bathe-in-holy-water-after-getting-railed-by-the-devil romance.”

She snorts.

“And if that wasn’t enough, I have to tell him I’m in love with a biker. And not just any biker, but the freaking president.”

I lean forward and bang my head on the table. When she doesn’t say anything, I look up to see her staring at me

“What?”

“You love him?”

“I mean, I care about him, and I—” I freeze, realizing what I said.

“You love him,” she says again, a smile spreading across her face.

My mouth snaps shut, and I look around to make sure no one’s paying attention to us before turning back to Amity. “You can’t tell him.”

“What am I, six? I’m hardly going to hand him a note saying,“Hey Havoc, my best friend loves you. Will you marry her?Check yes or no.”

“Haha, funny.But seriously, Amity, it’s too soon.”

“Says who? Love doesn’t follow a timeline, Pippin. It happens when you least expect it––no rules, no warning. And trust me, there’s no controlling it.”

“It’s a lot, Amity. He’s a lot.”

“But is he too much?”

I think of how he pulls me close when we sleep, his arms wrapped around me like a shield, promising to protect me even in my dreams. Sure, he kidnapped me, but honestly, he’s probably the nicest kidnapper on the planet. He fed me, brought me books, and gave me plenty of hot sex––all to win my heart.

He’s right when he says I’d run. I flew to the UK in hopes he’d forget me. If he hadn’t done what he did, I probably would’ve run again––only, I might’ve ended up going home.

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “But I’m a mess, Amity. I swear, every time I start processing one thing, another comes along and knocks me off my feet.”

“I get it, you know I do, but there are worse things than being loved by a man who’d risk his life to protect you. A guy who looks at you like you’re some kind of miracle that he can’t quite believe is real. It’s the same way G looks at me.”

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