Page 73 of The Fake Play

“Be honest. Tell him how you feel,” she responds firmly. “It’s the only way to move forward.”

Taking a deep breath, I begin typing.

I don’t know if I can do this. Everything feels too complicated. I’m scared, Luke.

As soon as I hit send, my hands begin to tremble. I just bared a piece of my soul, and now I have to wait for his response. Whitney watches me, her eyes filled with encouragement.

“Just be open to what he has to say. You might be surprised by his answer.”

My phone buzzes again, and I quickly glance at the screen.

I get it. But I want to try, Keke. I’m here for you. I love you.

Could it really be that simple?

“See?” Whitney says, leaning back in her chair, satisfaction evident in her expression. “He’s serious about this.”

Maybe there really are good people in the world, and maybe, just maybe, Luke is one of them. Whitney definitely is.

Love couldn’t be on the table, though. Not for me. I had sworn I’d never go through that again, and I meant it. Maybe I could share a life with Luke, but he had to know what that looked like for me.

“Okay, I’ll talk to him.”

Whitney beams. “That’s the spirit! Just remember, you’re not in this alone. We’ll figure it out together.”

First, Luke said that, and now Whitney. Weird day.

I have people in my corner, willing to stand by me as I navigate this new reality. It’s a strange yet wonderful feeling, and terrifying to feel anything vaguely resembling hope. The world had beaten that out of me long ago. But what I’d gone through wasn’t Luke’s fault, and I don’t want to take it out on him. That isn’t fair.

I’m pregnant, and if I’m going to be a mother in this crazy world, I have to be ruthless to protect my child. Kids deserve protection and stability, and I will give this child everything I never had as a kid.

I’m not sure how exactly, but I have to try. And if that means letting people in,trustingagain, then I’m willing to do it.

Chapter 31

Luke

Isit alone in my condo, the silence literally louder than anything.

Everything that matters feels like it’s slipping through my fingers like a fistful of sand.

Keke. My career.

I keep replaying the moment of the proposal over and over in my mind—the horrified look on her face, the utter humiliation that I’d miscalculated so fucking badly.

Sitting around isn’t going to change things but I’m not sure what will. I have energy to burn and no outlet. I turn to doing burpees in my bedroom, mostly because I hate them, but I need the distraction to clear my head. The first ten were just a warm-up. The urge to puke doesn’t usually come until the thirtieth one.

But tonight, it doesn’t come at all. So I keep going while I think about what happened.

I’d been so sure I was doing the right thing. For once, I’d put my heart out there with no games, no defenses, just a man asking a woman to share her life with him. I’d expected anything but this. I was prepared for her to laugh, but then say yes. For her to cry, but then say yes. Even a gasp that turned into a yes.

Instead, Keke had looked at me like she’d never seen me before, like I was a stranger.

Like I was someone she couldn’t trust.

That grueling thought hit around the fiftieth burpee and I couldn’t continue. Not because I was out of energy, but because the thought she couldn’t trust me called up the nausea I thought had beaten.

I was very wrong.

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