Page 76 of The Fake Play

“I know you know, but I feel like I needed to say it to you myself.” I look down, unable to meet his gaze. “How much do you hate me right now?”

“Is that really what you think of me?” he asks, a hint of hurt in his voice. “Keke, I’m your brother. I’m not here to judge you. Sure, it’s not how I pictured you starting a family, but if this is what you want, if this is what makes you happy, then I’m here for you. I just want you to be okay.”

A tear slips down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away. “I just thought… I figured you’d be mad.”

He shakes his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I was, at first. Not about the pregnancy, but about how this is going to affect everything for you. When I ran into Luke at the arena… well, let’s just say I have a better understanding now.”

I know what Whitney told me, but I want his version of things. “How did all of that go down?”

“Well, at first, I threw him against the wall?—”

“You did?”

He smirks. “Yeah. I thought he hurt you, that he’d ruined your career. I was pissed off.”

“People don’t usually walk away on their own when you get pissed yet he did. So, what happened?”

“He just let me attack him. He wasn’t fighting back. He looked like he’d already been put through the wringer. He told me everything and I listened.” Michael shakes his head as his hard expression fades. “That man’s in love if I have ever seen one, and if you can’t see that then you’re not looking close enough.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Michael,” I whisper, my voice choked on my sobs. “I’m scared, and I don’t know how to handle any of this. I just wanted to focus on work, keep things simple, but now… everything’s so messy.”

“Life is messy, Keke. You can’t control everything, no matter how hard you try, nor do you have to. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Not yet. I still don’t know how I feel.”

“Well, maybe it’s time you started figuring it out. Because if you don’t deal with this now, it’s only going to get harder. You’ve got a whole new life ahead of you. Might as well go into it with your head on straight.”

I let out a shaky laugh. “You sound like a motivational speaker in training.”

“Maybe I missed my calling.”

We sit there for a while in comfortable silence. It had been a long time since I’d felt this close to him. “Tell me something,” I say after a few moments. “Do you think I made a mistake?”

“You mean with the pregnancy?”

“With Luke, in general. I walked away because I thought he was just going through a phase, that he’d change his mind or get bored of me. But now, I’m not so sure. Maybe I was just scared and stubborn.”

“Maybe you were. But that doesn’t mean it’s too late. If you truly care about him, then it’s worth taking a chance.”

“How does anyone manage to do this the right way?”

“There is no right or wrong way, Keke. Just text him, and?—”

“No, that’s not what I meant. Pregnancy. Picking a life partner. All that stuff.”

He thinks for a moment. “It’s all part of life, kiddo, and I’m still working on that myself. You need to talk to him, though.”

“Talking to him will only confuse me more.”

“Okay. So, talk to me. Talk to me until you have it figured out. How are you doing, really?”

I snort out a laugh at myself, and then another, and another. Soon, I’m laughing and crying at the same time. Michael smiles, bewildered. “I have no fucking idea how I’m doing.”

He chuckles then leans forward, elbows on his knees. “I think I said something similar to you after my first week of rehab.”

His sudden change of topic nearly knocks the wind out of me. We hadn’t talked about it in a long time. I swallow hard, unsure of where he was going with this. “That was a hell of a time in our lives.”

“It was.” He draws a long breath, and I don’t know if he’s going to change the topic or if he wants to talk about it. His lips form a hard line before he speaks again, eyes full of regret. “I made a lot of mistakes back then. A lot of stupid choices, wrong choices. I was angry. I’ve always been angry. Always fighting, always looking for a fight?—”

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