Page 42 of The Last Trip

When the door opens, my heart skips a beat and falls just as quickly as I see the police officers from earlier entering the room. The nurse looks at me warily. “She just had a baby. Surely this can wait.”

“This’ll just take a second,” the first officer says.

Slowly, reluctantly, the nurse leaves, and when we’re alone, the officer draws nearer to me. “I wanted you to know Calvin Moon survived the accident, so no murder charges will be filed.” My whole body goes numb. “I’ll let him decide whether to apprise you of his medical state, but until he contacts you, I’d suggest you stay away from him. He still has the option to press charges for assault and battery.” His gaze rakes over me. “Would you like to press charges against him?”

I swallow. As much as I can help it, I don’t want today to be tainted by Calvin any more than it already has. “No.”

“You sure?” the second officer asks, his brown eyes narrowing at me. Maybe this will make him think I’m the guilty one or that I have something to hide. Maybe I don’t care at this moment.

When the officers leave a few minutes later, we’re alone again, and I feel myself falling asleep as my daughter suckles at my breast. What feels like every few seconds, the nurses come in to press on my stomach or check this or that, but for the most part, we’re just alone.

Just me and her.

For the longest time, alone felt scary, but now, it’s the greatest sense of peace I’ve ever known.

When the door opens later, ripping me from sleep, I pull the baby closer to me, protecting her from whatever monster might be lurking.

As Janelle walks in, her blonde hair has been pulled back in a low ponytail, and she looks as scared as a deer in headlights. Her big blue eyes stare at me with quiet questions.

“Is she…okay?”

I nod. I don’t owe her any answers, but I’m acutely aware I only made it to this moment because of her. Despite what she’s done, that means something to me.

“Did they tell you about Calvin?”

Again, I nod. “Have you seen him? What are you going to do?”

“Yeah, I saw him. He’s in room four seventeen, so pretty far away. He won’t be able to bother you. I already told them what happened. That it was self-defense.” She pauses. “He said it was a heated moment that got out of hand. He wouldn’t admit to what he did to you, but he’s not pressing charges, either.”

That doesn’t sound like Cal. Giving up. Giving in. I just hope he doesn’t change his mind once he’s out of the hospital. “I don’t know if I ever said thank you for what you did. I don’t know if, if you hadn’t done what you did, I don’t know if I’d…” I choke back tears. “Just…thank you.”

She nods slowly, eyes down. “Sadie, I don’t even know what to say to you right now. I’m so sorry about everything.”

“I know,” I tell her. I don’t say it’s okay because I’m not sure it is. I’m not sure it will ever be. All this time, I was so terrified Janelle might reveal my secret to Cal—that I had cheated on him during the beginning of our relationship, that without our daughter, I might not have chosen him—and now I know his secret was so much worse. “I’m not going to give her to him. I’ll fight him with everything I have.”

“I hope you win,” she says, her voice soft. “I truly do.”

I don’t like how unsure she sounds. Instinctively, my hands tighten around her. “She’s mine.”

“She’s beautiful,” she says.

“Why did you lie to me? Why did Cal tell me you were his daughter? Why did you play the part?” It doesn’t matter. Really, it doesn’t. And for all I know, everything she tells me could be a lie. But I need to ask. I have to have an explanation for it all.

She looks at the ground, shuffling her feet. “I was worried about you. I hated myself for not warning you when I had the chance. And when I found the research Cal was doing, I did the only thing I thought I could do—I asked him if I could start coming around. He didn’t think it was a good idea at first, but I was insistent. I told him I just wanted to be a part of it. That I needed to feel closer to everything that was happening.” Finally, she meets my eyes. “We came up with the plan ourselves. The easiest way for me to be involved and around you without you being suspicious about who I was. I thought if I could be around, could get you alone, I knew you’d want answers once you realized who I was. I thought if we could, I don’t know, maybe I could try to tell you what was happening…somehow. If you even believed me. It wasn’t a good plan, but if anything happened to you because of me, I’d never forgive myself.”

I glance down at my daughter, pulling the blanket around her face. “And the house? Our picture, the lamp? Did you do that, too?”

She fills her lungs with a deep, shaky breath. “I couldn’t let you be alone with him until I could convince him the plan was bad. I went to visit him at the school, and I asked him to come today because I was begging him not to go through with it. I wanted you two to leave the apartment because I couldn’t guarantee your safety there. I thought if you were somewhere more public, like a hotel, you’d be safe. Safer, anyway. I kept texting you, hoping you’d unblock my number so I could warnyou, but you never responded.” She swallows and steps forward, pulling a piece of paper from her back pocket. Unfolding it, she hands it over to me. “For the record, I don’t think you’re safe even now. As long as you have what he wants. I still think you should leave. Get as far away from here as possible. But…maybe this will help.”

I read over the document slowly, noticing Cal’s scratchy notes at the bottom. As realization sweeps over me, tears blur my eyes. It’s just a piece of the research she mentioned before. Just a hint of what he was planning, and it’s atrocious.

“He was going to kill me,” I whisper, still unable to believe it, even seeing it in his own handwriting. “He was going to take the baby and leave me to bleed out.”

“You were never married,” she says. “In Tennessee, that means he has no rights to the baby unless he files a petition with the court for paternity. To do that would be messy. It would make him look less than perfect. I think that’s why he was planning—” She cuts herself off. “I think that’s why his plans changed. He had all these notes in his cloud when I went searching. He’s been planning this for a long time. But he won’t fight you in court. That would be—” She smiles to herself. “That would beagainst the plan.”

It’s a sad smile that crosses my lips as I realize she might be right. “What will happen to you?”

“I don’t know,” she admits. “I’m filing for divorce, obviously, but after that…” She puffs out a long breath. “I’m not sure yet.”

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